


Stop Me If You've Read This Before

by LemonKith



Category: Barenaked Ladies (Band)
Genre: M/M
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2017-08-14
Updated: 2017-08-14
Packaged: 2018-12-15 06:55:45
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 16
Words: 31,078
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/11800788
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/LemonKith/pseuds/LemonKith
Summary: It's Kevin's first tour with BNL. Whatever he had been expecting, it was nothing like the bizarre new world he was about to enter.





	1. Chapter 1

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Okay. Yes, this story features the Ladies in gay, sexual relationships. Though there are hints and jokes of it in my other fics, this is the one where I actually write all of that stuff.
> 
> Of course this isn't how I actually imagine Barenaked Ladies really are in real life. It's just for what makes a more interesting and exciting story. Tyler once said the band find BNL slash cool and funny, so I hope they'd enjoy this if they ever read it. It's not that much worse than what they do on-stage for real in their rap medleys anyway, so they can hardly point fingers.
> 
> This is entirely meant to be just a bit of fun, but as it is real person fiction if anyone featured in this story or closely connected to them is uncomfortable with this please tell me and I'll take it down.
> 
>  
> 
> This story is set during the July-Sept BOAPS tour in 1995, i.e. Kevin's first tour with the band, after he's been with them for a couple of weeks.

Kevin realised Barenaked Ladies wasn’t going to be like any other when Fin walked up to four of them playing Euchre, said, “Okay, guys. Someone needs to fuck Ed,” and then Kevin watched the three other Ladies look at each other as if they were deciding whose turn it was to unload the dishwasher.

Eventually both Tyler and Jim were waiting on Steve who had averted his eyes to his cards. Tyler gestured to him, “Your call, Steve.”

Steve sighed and dropped his cards. “All right, fine.” He stood and left with Fin, who had remained as if this was something he needed to ensure was done.

The bus door soon closed, footsteps dying away. Jim picked up Steve’s cards, playing his partner’s hand even though the game couldn’t really go on with just three of them.

Kevin didn’t come back from thinking about what had just happened until he was nudged for letting his mouth gape.

“What, um...?” Kevin began to ask, the game practically ignored now. Jim was beginning to build a house of cards on his side of the table. “Fin just...” That really happened, right?

They both looked at him as if they were surprised he _didn’t_ get it.

Eventually Tyler caved and explained. “Did you notice Ed was a little... _fruity_ on stage last night?”

“Well, if by ‘fruity’ you mean...” All the comments about Steve’s butt, and wangs in general. “Yeah.” Kevin decided not to relive those moments aloud.

“He gets like that when he hasn’t had some dick for a while,” Tyler said nonchalantly, trying to slide his cards into the foundations of Jim’s quickly rising house across the table. Jim stopped them with lighting fast reflexes without even taking his eyes off his tower.

Kevin watched this, and them, bewildered. “But... I thought he’s married?”

“He is,” Tyler agreed.

“But he’s also bi,” Jim added.

“As hell.”

“Hella bi,” Jim looked up briefly with a grin.

“In the ninth concentric circle of bi-hell,” Tyler nodded and joked back. “So someone needs to give him some every now and then or else he gets...” He gestured in an effeminate way.

“’Someone’?” Kevin questioned next, uncomfortably.

“It tends to be Steve,” Tyler continued, sitting back now to look at Kevin. “Ed’s head-over-heels for the guy.”

“Yeah, I noticed,” Kevin said. It had only taken two glances, the second only because it seemed too obvious to believe the first time. “So Steve’s also...?”

“Nah, he just does it to get his rocks off with something better than his own hand.”

“I mean, he loves Ed,” Jim said, still constructing the cards. “But just like a brother, you know?”

Not like the way Ed always looked to Steve for approval of his jokes on-stage, the way he wrote and played simply to try and impress Steve or make him laugh, or so he always said.

“...Oh,” was all Kevin could eventually think to say about it.

“Yeah, sorry about that, New Guy,” Tyler said to Kevin while continuing his siege of Castle Creeggan, now with an aerial assault. Amazingly Jim was still fending them all off. “Probably should have warned you things get kind of gay ‘round here sometimes.”

Kevin scratched his head, muttering an, “Oh man...” before speaking up, “The way Fin was asking, like... sometimes you two... do it?”

“Do Ed, you mean?” Tyler smirked. Kevin may have blushed quite a lot. “Sometimes. Steve gets first dibs but anyone will fuck anyone if they get horny enough in this band. Sometimes we all just have big orgies together to get it all done at once.”

After a stunned moment, Kevin laughed. He got it now. “Stop kidding me! You almost had me going for a minute there!”

Both Tyler and Jim turned to look at him. And smirked.

“...Please be kidding me,” Kevin started curling up a bit, squirming beneath their gazes. “You don’t really have...?” They kept looking at him. It wasn’t making the joke, or not, any clearer. “...Guys?!”

Tyler took the opportunity to throw a jack into the centre of Jim’s card-tower. It crumpled with a clattering sigh and Jim began picking the pieces of his obliterated pyramid up. “I was kind of kidding about the orgies thing but I’m not kidding about the sex, Kevin.” One of Tyler’s rare, serious tones. He was taking some pity on the New Guy.

Or so Tyler thought. “Seriously?! You guys...?!” Kevin was near to passing out from all the blood in his cheeks instead of his brain.

“Yeah.” That was all Tyler said, looking him right in the eye.

Kevin had to look away, out of the parked tour bus window. That got him thinking about Steve, where he’d gone to, what he’d gone to-

How was he ever going to look them in the face again now? The next time he saw them he’d just be imagining Ed-

“Kev?” Tyler called on him for spacing out again.

“Sorry, just...” Kevin turned back, but slowly.

“Wondering about Ed and Steve?” Tyler grinned and raised his eyebrows, closing his eyes like he had a fun little tale to tell. “Ed was probably chatting with the roadies, maybe flirting. Steve will have found him, taken him somewhere private – wherever’s nearest – and gotten Ed to beg to suck his dick.” The worst thing was how easily Kevin could imagine it, Ed’s gasping pleas, Steve’s firm voice commanding him down. “Ed’s probably on his knees in the dirt somewhere with his face buried in Steve’s open jeans right now.” He chuckled.

“Jeez, did you have to be so vivid...?!” Kevin complained. His blush wouldn’t be fading until Christmas at this rate.

“Don’t worry about it – Ed’ll be loving it,” Tyler assured him.

Yes, that was all too easy to believe.

Ed moaning with a dick down his throat, sucking Steve off so lovingly, coming away with just a bit of cum dripping over his pink, full lips into his goatee-

Kevin shifted, bringing his knees up to hug as he frowned anxiously at the other two guys. “I won’t have to...?”

“No, you never have to do anything you’re uncomfortable with, Kev.”

Did having this conversation count? Then again, Tyler was giving him a reassuring, proper smile now. “Okay.” Still, now they’d had to go and get his curiosity all perked up... “...So, you two have...?” he asked tentatively, just to be sure.

“Yeah,” Jim answered, all the cards back on the table now. “Whenever Ty and I get on each other’s nerves over something and there’s no time to talk it out before we go on stage-”

“Wangs work faster than tongues,” Tyler finished as if it were the band motto, leaning over to help with collecting the cards back into a deck.

Now he had images of-

God, he was going to Hell for the things they’d put in his head tonight alone.

The other two were laughing, already moving onto another topic like it was nothing, like they could just switch to talking about this week’s new blockbuster they had tickets for on their day off in a couple of days.

And Kevin was left to sit back, hugging his knees tighter for protection as he stared down into his lap, into the darkness that concealed his nervous erection.

Nothing he was uncomfortable with, huh?

They had no idea.


	2. Chapter 2

There was fun-nudity. Kevin rather enjoyed that kind once he got over the heady, awkward feeling of the first time. It gave him a naughty, little thrill like a child skinny-dipping in their backyard paddling pool. He had gotten used to that and enjoyed it now after a couple of weeks.

Then there was sex-nudity.

Kevin had not walked onto the bus expecting that. He had definitely not come back last to the bus expecting to see Ed with his head deep in Jim’s lap very apparently putting his mouth to good use. Jim looked in deep, concentrated bliss, his eyes closed and head tilted forward to rest his chin against his chest. His hands were cupping the back of Ed’s head gently, keeping him there while his hips occasionally twitched when his deep, measured breathing hitched.

Steve sprawled to Jim’s one side, looking pretty debauched and probably finished with. Tyler was on Jim’s other side, pretty enthusiastically waiting his turn. All were butt-naked – No, he wasn’t going to say Barenaked – as they sat in the seating area, except Ed who was knelt on the carpeted floor in the middle.

So Tyler _had_ only been ‘kind of kidding’ about the orgies thing.

“Hey, New Guy,” Steve noticed and called to him, no longer interested in what Ed was doing for the moment. “You joining?” He cracked a lazy grin.

“Er...” Kevin’s gaze flicked around the other four, only catching Tyler’s briefly since the other two were pretty engaged. “I...”

He wanted to back out.

He damned peer-pressure for making him join in.

Making his way awkwardly to the seating, nearly tripping over something on the way simply because his attention was so focussed on Ed’s bobbing head and Jim’s quiet, little ‘Yes’s now he was obviously drawing close, Kevin found himself a seat.

He stripped mechanically, glad he wasn’t the centre of attention as he sat beside Tyler, although as far as possible from said naked man.

He couldn’t keep his gaze off it though; Ed down there, his throat working as Jim came with only a quiet gasp and Ed sucked it all down keenly.

Kevin supposed a lot of big-time musicians had sex as a vice – If they didn’t have drugs or alcohol it was practically required – but he had thought that was what groupies were for. Not one of the band members being the band-whore.

And of all of them, Ed?

He did look dutifully submissive now – Kevin hadn’t even noticed when Ed had moved round onto Tyler’s waiting dick – but that wasn’t Ed. Ed was confident, sure of himself, fun. Kevin guessed maybe this could count under ‘fun’ though, if he wasn’t such a choirboy.

A choirboy with really dirty thoughts, as he looked away from Steve’s half-aroused junk across from him with a blush. Was this a turn-based thing? Was he going to get a turn being everyone’s whore? He’d never sucked a cock before though. If they didn’t mind giving him a couple of times to learn it-

His gaze flicked right to Ed’s head being forced down on Tyler’s dick and he could almost feel himself gag on nothing at the thought of choking on that.

Okay, maybe more than a few times. Maybe more like none.

He could claim he wasn’t comfortable with it. They might tease and taunt but they wouldn’t force him.

They wouldn’t even force him with his turn tonight, probably. He could refuse, but considering the noises Tyler was making now thanks to Ed-

No, it was too weird. It was Ed. He couldn’t-

But what kind of man doesn’t want his dick sucked? And heck, there was a reason he was having to lift his right thigh a bit now for privacy. Their oh-so-innocent New Guy, already hard when he’d been whining about it just two days ago? This was too weird.

It was too weird.

Tyler was getting close beside him – Kevin tried not to listen – and then Ed was going to...

Kevin squirmed, wondering if he could slip out.

No.

Although Steve was watching Ed and Tyler, Jim was watching him with an odd, piercing look. God, the quiet bassist freaked him out sometimes. Saying nothing yet listening to everything; Jim probably knew all the secrets of the band. Although right now he just looked as if he was trying to parse what was going through Kevin’s head by watching his face.

Kevin turned away, not giving him that opportunity.

Tyler was done, much more loudly than Jim. Kevin was swearing to himself under his voice in French because that meant next was-

Ed was already knelt in front of him, rubbing Kevin’s thighs just above his knees soothingly. Kevin tried to sit still and not show his unease. “You all right, Kevin? You want a turn?” Ed asked compassionately, then grinned.

‘Kevin’.

Ed was the only one that always called him by his name, not ‘New Guy’ like the rest.

He liked Ed.

Steve was unpredictable and a bit intimidating sometimes. Jim was unnervingly mysterious and strange, in a nice enough way. Tyler teased and startled him. But Ed...

He liked Ed.

By the time Ed had gotten to him now, his face was flushed and his lips were pretty full and swollen. He looked beautiful and ready. The awkwardness had stopped Kevin getting hard before but seeing Ed down there, like that, about to suck him off, Kevin grew hard right before Ed’s eyes.

“Y-Yeah, I’d like that, Ed,” Kevin responded a little breathlessly. He was too curious and caught up in that twinkle in Ed’s ice blue eyes. His hips even bucked experimentally towards Ed as the other man knelt up in position.

“Relax, Kev,” Ed murmured too low for the other band members to hear. Kevin tried not to think about them and the thought of them watching. He just focused on Ed. “You ever been sucked off by a guy before?” Ed asked conversationally as he positioned himself, sizing up what was in front of him and taking a few preparatory breaths.

“No,” Kevin answered quietly, not seeing the point in admitting he had never been sucked off by _anyone_ before.

“Well, at least one of us knows what they’re doing.” Ed winked up at him and descended.

Kevin was going to respond with a sarky, little quip about how hard it could be to sit still and have your dick sucked but one long swipe of Ed’s tongue up the underside of his cock and he was doing anything but sitting still. He felt pretty sorry for Ed; he really hadn’t meant to thrust so deep into his mouth like that.

Ed swallowed him down, sometimes bobbing his head and sliding Kevin down his throat, sometimes pulling back a bit to focus on using his tongue inside his mouth.

It soon blurred and he had no idea what Ed was doing except that it felt so good. So much better than his own hand and half-successful fumbles with mediocre boys and girls.

Later he’d wonder why Ed was a musician when he was this good at sucking dick.

Years later, after _Stunt,_ he’d understand it when he got to experience the tongue that sang ‘One Week’ again and confirmed that, Chickity China, was it equally amazing at both.

And on a couple of lonely nights he’d wonder if it was just the fact that it was Ed which made it good.

But there wasn’t time for any of that now in the two minutes it took him to come.

His head buzzed; he couldn’t even remember his own name. He was pretty sure he was hearing laughter and teasing about how quickly he’d come but then something- someone was sitting on his lap.

Hands were gently holding the sides of his face – His name was Kevin, yes. Kevin Hearn – and that was Ed, holding him, sitting on him, smirking as he checked Kevin was going to remember this before he pressed forward for a kiss.

Now Kevin was dazed again, and he was pretty sure he heard Tyler whooping. It took him too long to realise there was a tongue in his mouth and a bitter, salty taste being spread around it.

He was still about four seconds behind when Ed pulled back, his lips continuing to kiss uselessly at air as Ed got up, laughing with the others as Kevin realised what the taste in his mouth was. Gross. “Thanks, guys...” he tried to mumble, resigned to just swallowing it.

A hand patted his shoulder, Ed’s. “Taste of your own medicine, Kev.”

Things had become clear again now and while Jim and Tyler struck up a conversation on the medicinal properties of semen, Ed was sauntering back over to Steve, dropping down beside him with a very satisfied grin and a very satisfied- Oh God, Ed was huge. He’d seen him limp and even that was something but _this_...

“First sight of the monster?” Tyler must have seen him boggling at it while Steve was complaining about ‘New Guy spunk’ in Ed’s kisses.

“I didn’t...” That thing had to be, like, eight inches. Maybe more. “Wow.” How did Steve stand after taking that?

Then Steve’s hand was suddenly around it, stroking up and down the full length slowly, taking its time like it was demonstrating ownership. Kevin glanced up at Steve’s face but if he had been looking, now he had turned back to Ed curled against him, gasping and keening Steve’s name. Steve was murmuring, “Good boy,” back as he watched nothing but Ed, occasionally kissing his neck or face.

And suddenly Kevin had some very creepy thoughts about ‘What a Good Boy’ in his head he wanted rid of. He really hoped that song wasn’t on the set list for the next week, or ten.

Jim and Ty were still talking about semen – Kevin had never realised there was so much to discuss about it – whilst Steve finished Ed off over in their corner – So that was what the Kleenex was for – and the two of them lazily cuddled up together.

And Kevin sat by himself in this odd world, in his own world which he supposed was the really the odd one here when all the other four acted like this somehow made total sense.

But when he looked around at the rest of them like this, he supposed it started to make a little sense.


	3. Chapter 3

Rooming for hotels. That was another thing Kevin had expected to be normal before having to quickly readjust that expectation.

He might as well just scrap all his expectations with this band actually. It’d save him a lot of time.

They got hotels occasionally, when they had the luxury of time, and Fin seemed to like to book out rooms very specifically; certain members of the road crew were always together, or kept apart. Steve and Ed were always together with Jim and Tyler sharing a room on one side of them, Kevin’s own on the other. The first two times Kevin had been sharing with Fin. This time, for whatever reason, he had a single room alone which meant there was no one to bang on the wall adjoining with Steve and Ed’s room once bedtime rolled around.

So that meant-

“Yes, Steve! Yes!”

“Oh yeah? Like that, do ya?”

“Yes! Oh God, Steve, more!”

And assorted other bangings and thumpings he was equally trying to ignore. If he could have picked only one thing to ignore though, it would have been Ed’s heady, desperate voice making all those pleas to Steve, sounding like he was practically crying with joy. That was the noise making Kevin feel most awkward, particularly about the fact he wasn’t getting up to stop this. Just lying in bed listening.

Maybe it wasn’t that he didn’t dare to stop it; maybe he wanted to hear it.

No, that was ridiculous! It was just ‘ew’, like overhearing any of his older siblings having sex back at home.

Well, if he couldn’t bring himself to stop it, and couldn’t stand to stay listening to it, the best thing was to get away from it.

The hotel room door shut with a soft click as Kevin stepped out from it. Only after it was closed did he pat his pocket to check he actually had his key with him. Thanks to fool’s good luck he did.

With nothing on this floor except the corridor and the rooms, he supposed he should amble down to the main floor and see if there was something there, a bar or lounge, maybe a nice patio or- “Jim?” Kevin cocked his head as he asked softly to himself. He couldn’t think of any other reason there would be a mop of ginger curls on that sofa arm, not unless Carrot Top was stopping at the same hotel as them.

It wasn’t quite a lounge, some sort of half-room off the main lobby area where Jim was lain across a sofa, magazine propped up to read, long feet dangling off the other end lazily. He hadn’t noticed Kevin who was figuring a familiar face was the best option he had to while away the time until he could sleep in his own room.

Jim did glance up when a chair was dragged over to sit beside him but then returned to the page long enough to finish his article. “Hey, Kev.”

“Hey, Jim. Whatcha reading?”

After a few moments to finish the article, Jim closed the magazine to show the cover. Oh, just some local area monthly publication. Looking for good places to eat or interesting sights to see while they had a morning off tomorrow. “Can’t sleep because of them either?” Jim closed his eyes, cracking a lazy grin like he very much would have preferred to be in his bed right now.

“Them?”

“Ed and Steve.”

“Oh. Yeah. You can hear them too?”

Jim laughed. “Who couldn’t? Well, Ty fell asleep first and his snoring’s blocking it out for him, so I’ve got no chance.”

“Are they... always this loud?” Kevin asked awkwardly. He wasn’t a fan of not getting his sleep and already felt like a 7-year-old trying to stay up till midnight on New Year’s Eve. It was only 11:30 though. God, he was getting old.

Jim had chuckled at his question and simply asked, “Why do you think Fin always puts us in rooms on either side? Buffers.”

“Oh.” Kevin looked at the position they were in, chair and couch like a psychologist and their patient. It felt wrong that Jim was telling him all the facts this way round. “Why always us though? Why not some of the crew?”

“Fin wants as few people as possible to know, in case it gets out. I mean, most of the crew already know anyway, the ones who’ve been with us for a while. He still just...” He shrugged, eyes still closed in rest. “He needs people he can trust, I guess, who won’t sell the story out for big bucks.”

“Oh.” Made sense. Maybe. Still left Kevin scratching his head.

Jim’s eyes cracked back open along with his grin. “You keep saying ‘oh’ to everything.”

“Oh. Do I-? Oh. Yeah...” He supposed he did. “Just my way.” Kevin shrugged whimsically, smiling one of his more child-like smiles.

“It’s cute.”

“I know.” Kevin grinned a bit more slyly.

Jim rolled his eyes then went back to closing them. “You know, you’re only in the band because we needed a ‘cute one’.”

“Really? I thought Steve and Ed were...” He was going to say ‘cute’ but, “...doing a good enough job bringing in female fans.” He leant in a little closer when Jim just shrugged quietly. “So, you think I’m cute, do you, Jimmy?”

Jim deigned to open his eyes enough for a narrow, sideways look. Then said, “I think you’re what most young women think is cute.”

“And you’re not?”

“I’m just the weird ginger kid from down the street everyone wants on their team ‘cause he can run fast.”

Kevin kept thinking until he could come up with another tease. “...What about Ty? Do you think Ty’s cute?”

That got a snort. “Seriously? Come on,” Jim put an end to that ridiculous subject, sitting back up; “let’s go see if Ed and Steve are done yet.”

“Okay.”

They were.

Everyone could finally get some damn sleep.

~#~

He had said it again tonight.

Why was it always before the sex, or just as they got going, that Steve said, “This needs to stop, Ed,” yet then continued to fuck him into the mattress anyway?

_Perhaps it’s the rugged good looks, or how loud I screamed for him tonight._

With his hopeful self-joking, Ed looked over at Steve.

_Nah._

Ed was still looking at Steve. He sat up a little more, sheets dropping to his bare waist. The lights were off, just a little moonlight coming in through the flimsy windows lighting the room and Steve’s sleeping face beside him.

Steve’s glasses were on the nightstand- Or mostly on the nightstand. He hadn’t had the best aim when he had thrown them off his face in favour of sleep and now one arm was dangling a bit. Ed reached over carefully and nudged it back on.

Then he paused leant over Steve.

 _My Steve..._ A finger lightly brushed through the tips of his hair. _My special, no-glasses Steve... No one gets to see you like I do._

The whole crew did, whenever Steve changed, got wet, got tired of having his glasses on.

_My special, no-glasses, sleeping Steve..._

_Carolyn_ \- His mind supplied, but Ed stopped it.

Maybe they did. Maybe she did.

_But none of them appreciate it like me._

He was still watching over Steve, finger smoothing the ends of light hair, just feeling a warm flutter in his chest that lifted his whole being.

_...God, I’m grinning like a fucking idiot. It’s just Steve._

Ed sat back on his side of the bed  and sighed silently. He certainly wasn’t worried.

How many times had Steve said it now? It had to be a dozen at least. _What’s that then? Our seventh year so... Two a year?_ And never once had Steve actually carried through with what he said. Oh, he’d certainly given it a good go a couple of times. Ed could practically tell this time it wasn’t even going to last a day; he’d had that much practice with the phrase, “This has to stop, Ed,” that he actually knew how serious it was each time now. _It’s fucking ridiculous._ He used to ask, “Why?” Now he just said, “Okay.”

_Does he even realise what he’s saying anymore? Or is it like asking if I want ketchup or mayo on my fries? Who the hell likes mayo on their fries anyway? Do I look like a Creeggan?_

Ed sighed. _I could have done with the sleep tonight..._ It always did this. The first few times had been actual worry.

Now, _Why do I even bother? Why does HE even bother?_

_The day Steve and I stop sleeping together will be the day the fans stop throwing Kraft Dinner..._

The words’ first time had been their first time. Carolyn’s uncertainty over the age difference at music camp leaving Steve frustrated and hurt, and Ed couldn’t leave him like that. Not when he had a crush on the boy and a way to make Steve feel better, desirable and amazing all at once with a single blowjob.

A couple of times after they kept falling into bed with each other on each successive tour. It stopped at the end, when they went home; ergo, Ed argued, it was just a tour-thing, not a feelings-thing.

_Yeah right..._

A few times when people had nearly found out. But then Andy and Jim _had_ found out, and then Tyler. And Fin. And the oldest-serving members of the crew. And Steve had stopped saying it for that reason; no one cared.

Then there had been 1993. And Carolyn. Apparently having your best friend balls-deep in your ass was a weird time to congratulate him on his engagement. Steve was the one fucking him even after saying they had to stop this because of her.

_And hey-ho, look where we are now._

_I probably have more sex with him than she does..._

Ed couldn’t even remember the times aside from those. Just a blur of angry moments, regrets, near misses and Steve still coming back.

It didn’t matter what he said.

He kept coming back. And this time he’d come back as well.

Ed knew it.


	4. Chapter 4

He’d encountered it quite a few more times now, through walls or a couple of times even walking in on something in a bathroom or the bus. Either Ed really needed a lot of dick or Steve wanted to give him a lot because, “God, they’re like rabbits on Viagra...” Kevin muttered as he sat down for breakfast.

“Ed and Steve?” Jim asked, tearing off toast chunks with a grin to see their increasingly sleep-deprived New Guy.

“They’ve been worse,” Tyler added, casting a short glance over at the other two still getting their food from the catering.

“Worse?!” Kevin raised his eyebrows tiredly. “Did they even use their bunks last night?”

“Can’t fit in one together,” Tyler said, “and I guess our soppy, little bunnies wanted to cuddle.” Jim gave a single laugh at the idea.

Kevin shook his head free of the new images. His only interest currently lay in the honey-soaked pastry on his plate. Who needed fruit or any of that? He’d get by on sugar alone even if it killed him- No wait, that wasn’t really getting by, was it? Whatever. As if his mind was working right after only three or four hours of rough, patchy sleep.

The other two were evaluating last night’s setlist and suggestions for tonight’s whilst Kevin lavished his attention on sweet tea and even sweeter food. Eventually he dragged his eyes away from the meal to where Ed and Steve were sitting together at another small table howling with laughter. He watched as Ed started playing with his plastic cutlery on the table like a drum kit, making ridiculously over-the-top sounds as he hit each item of his English breakfast. He finished the drum solo with a big cymbal crash on Steve’s pancakes and now they were laughing like anything whilst Steve was also flicking bit of the wrong breakfast back at Ed.

They looked perfect together. Maybe it did make total sense.

Well, except one part.

“Hey, guys,” Kevin began, attracting the other two’s attention once more. “I was curious. Does Ed always... bottom?” He cast awkward glances, speaking in a low tone under the general chatter of the crew. “Whenever I’ve heard or seen it, Ed’s always the one taking it or sucking it.”

“Are you complaining about them, or looking to get in on them?” Tyler asked.

“What? No!” They were both giving him strange looks. Kevin began to realise that maybe he deserved them. “I don’t know! I was just curious, okay? Like I said,” he got hotly defensive.

“Why?” Jim pressed him.

Kevin squirmed for a reason. “All right, fine! I’ll stop asking!” He couldn’t even find an answer for himself, let alone them. Besides, this was a good gig and he was still temporary he had to remind himself. “It just seemed strange; Ed seems like the more masculine one...” he muttered as some justification.

“You’ve seen the monster,” Tyler said; “would you want to be on the receiving end of that?”

Kevin was more than slightly surprised to get a sort of answer after the fuss they’d made. “Well... I guess not,” he said.

“And Ed’s just... Is ‘gayer’ a word?” Tyler asked. “He’s more comfortable with it.”

“I always bottom for us.” Kevin couldn’t have been more startled by Jim’s blasé openness. “Ty feels it would dent his masculinity, or something.” Or maybe Jim was being his sometimes-facetious self.

Tyler gave him a friendly knock. “Or you just like my dick in your ass too much, Jimmy-boy.”

“God, not you two too...” Kevin was just about ready to collapse on the tabletop right now.

“Suck it, Martha Stewart,” Jim responded smoothly, uncaring of their audience.

Tyler laughed haughtily for show. “I’d say that’s your job, JC Penney.”

“Your jokes aren’t even any good,” Kevin tried to point out.

“Oh, cram someone’s sausage in it, Hearnia.” Tyler pointed what was left of one of his towards Kevin on a fork.

“Fuck off. I’m not even gay.”

“Neither am I. But you don’t need to worry about that ‘round here, Kev,” Jim advised him wisely, watching Kevin with an intent look as the other man got up to go find a less gay table to eat at.

Kevin ended up alone for what he had left of his breakfast. Better that than... Well, the guys weren’t bad. He just couldn’t accept this stuff like they seemed to. If none of them were gay or bi, except Ed, then maybe it made more sense, maybe it could just be a physical thing.

It wouldn’t be the same if he did it though...

None of them were going to force him at least. They were good enough guys not to do that.

He’d just have to get his balls together and make sure to back out next time.

~#~

Floating shoes... No wait, shoes! Come back! Come-

...What?

Why was there a wall here suddenly?

Kevin’s fingers stopped on the hard surface, wondering what it was. And where he was.

Where was he?

It was dark, tight-

Oh right, bunk. Bunk on the bus-thing. It had been a dream. Now he was awake.

Maybe he could slip back off. He certainly needed the sleep these days...

No. It became clearer the longer he lay awake in the small, dark space with the rattling road beneath and wind whipping past above: he wasn’t getting back off to sleep easily now. Besides, he felt like he was growing delirious, or at least dizzy, in here. Maybe he ought to crack his slider a little more, if the extra noise didn’t keep him awake then.

He slid out from the bunk above Steve’s, staring dumbly at the three across from him. From snoring alone, he knew Tyler was out for the count in the bottom. Jim’s looked occupied up top. But in the middle...

Kevin followed the soft noise of some sort of bouncy, jungley music and occasional quiet, “Damn it! No, no, n-Yes!” to the back of the bus.

Yep, Ed was playing video games again.

He had been sitting by Ed a full two minutes, trying to parse the odd, bright game in his sleep-drunk state, before he gave up and asked, “What are the fruits for?”

“Gah!” Ed actually fumbled the controller into his lap, his character on-screen falling into a pit. “Holy smokes, Kev! Make some goddamn noise when you come in here!”

“Sorry.” They both kept their voices low for the others as Ed restarted at the checkpoint.

“They’re normal collectibles. 100 for a new life.”

“Oh. Okay.”

“Just let me finish this level and I’ll load up something two-player if you like,” Ed offered, clearing the pit he’d fallen into before with ease this time.

Kevin had till the end of the level then to decide if he wanted to stay up and play or keep watching until he felt drowsy enough to return to bed.

Five minutes later he had a controller in hand revving for the countdown.

He didn’t know what the kooky, little racing game was, and Ed didn’t even know the controls himself to tell him, but somehow that all made it more fun in the strange world of 2am sleep deprivation.

They’d completed their first lap, Ed literally pushing Kevin across the line ahead of him since their cars had gotten stuck together somehow, when Kevin spoke up even more softly than the normal voices they were using this night, “Ed?”

“Yeah? Gonna get off my front bumper any time soon, buddy?”

“You’re bisexual, right?”

Ed’s car just ground to a halt, detaching them nicely as he hesitated. He picked himself back up in the race as he cast uneasy glances at how blasé and innocent Kevin looked beside him. “Where’d you hear that- Well, yeah, I am, I guess.”

“You guess?”

“If I have to put a label on it.”

They continued racing, only the music of the game for sound, for half a minute.

“...Was that all you wanted to know?” Ed asked. He would have been perplexed but he was used to the strange ways of a Kevin after a month.

Kevin continued for a moment until he’d gotten onto a straight. “Well, you look like you have feelings for Steve but if he’s not into guys he won’t reciprocate. I just wondered how you dealt with that.”

Ed took his eyes off the game for a second to eye Kevin; from asking nothing to everything... “Steve’s my best friend. It doesn’t matter so long as I get to be with him. And I love Nat.”

“...Okay,” Kevin finally said.

Yet another of those moments. “...Is that it?” Ed asked, verging on incredulous now.

“Mm... Yep.” Kevin stuck his tongue out as he concentrated on the game. “I was just... curious.”

Almost laughing, Ed shook his head. “You’re so strange.” He caught Kevin glancing at him, almost looking afraid. “It’s cool. All the others asked when they joined. I get why you wanna know, Kev,” Ed assured him with a friendly push to try and cheat at the race. “...It is kind of weird, I guess.”

Since the race was nearly done now, “You’re okay with it though?” Kevin asked.

“’Course I am.” Ed grinned.

“Okay.”

Well, at least Ed was happy with it, however he could be.

All that and Kevin still felt at a loss though.

~#~

It was still on his mind after soundcheck a few days later. The others had stayed behind dealing with a mic frequency issue and Tyler had run off to the bathroom, “To shit out Mötley Crüe’s next big hit.”

Anyway, that finally left him alone with Jim. And, well, Grammah too, but she wasn’t doing much talking.

“Hey, Jim.” Kevin sat down on the nearest object, one of the black road-cases.

“Oh, hey, Kev.” Jim looked up from... Well, it looked like very loving maintenance although the crew did most of that for them. Maybe Jim was just stroking his double bass. “What’s up?”

“Uh... It’s still about the... s-sex thing.” Kevin frowned that he stuttered.

Jim looked up a little surprised, and maybe a little concerned too. “ _Again_?”

Kevin shrugged, and fidgeted with all his fingers at once. “It’s just weird to me. I still don’t get it.”

“What about it? You don’t have to join in. Or are you uncomfortable just being around it?”

“No, that’s not it...” Nowhere near it...

“Then what?” Jim sat down, lower back leant on Grammah, to look at Kevin.

Kevin’s fingers laced and unlaced. Then they laced a different way again. “I... I’m...” He bit down on his lip, just like every time that word nearly came out. “I don’t mind it. I like it even, that you’re all so close and trusting you’ll even,” He flapped his hand like a demented and horny bird. “I just don’t get how you can do it?”

“What exactly?” Jim was watching him patiently, nothing judgemental.

“Sleep with each other and not catch feelings.” Figures he’d end up talking to Jim about it. He’d tried Ed but Ed was too much the band-dad; you didn’t talk your sex problems out with your dad because that ran the risk of hearing life-scarring things about your mom.

Jim had been quiet a moment, thinking about that. “Well, most of the band are straight, Kev. For the others... You don’t ‘cause you can’t, I guess.”

Kevin kept his thoughts behind a slight frown. He settled for asking, “Can’t?”

“There’s a no-dating-in-the-band rule, I think.” Jim scratched at his head and Kevin smiled just at how the long, ginger curls flopped with it. “Steve and Ed might have been bullshitting about that... Anyway,” He pushed the hair back out of his face, “it’s just a road-thing. Convenience.”

...Ohh.

It all fell into place now.

“...Why are you smiling at me like that, Kev?” Jim asked after a creeped-out moment.

“Huh?” The wide, knowing smirk evaporated from Kevin’s face. “Oh! No reason!” he chirped innocently.

The change was too abrupt though. Jim remained nervous as he waited on Kevin.

It almost looked as if he thought Kevin was going to pounce; that was cute. “‘For the _others’_ ,” Kevin quoted, “‘ _you_ don’t ‘cause _you_ can’t.’” That knowing smirk curled back up the left side of his lips.

That was the first time he’d seen Jim look spooked. In fairness, Kevin didn’t hear that quiet, razor-thin tone in his own voice much. He’d found people didn’t like it when he turned from naive, dreamy-headed choirboy into the darker, more perceptive Kevin.

“You like men too, don’t you, Jim?” Kevin challenged quietly. Now Jim looked ready to run. Below his T-shirt and shorts, the muscles of his arms and legs stood out clearly tense. “Sorry,” Kevin apologised, seeing the effect his simple accusation had had. “Don’t worry; I won’t tell anyone. I was just, I don’t know, worried you might be getting your feelings hurt.”

Jim laughed, albeit not totally without nervousness. “You sound like Fin. Except with less ‘ew’s.” Kevin laughed too. “And don’t worry; no feelings are involved. Not for me at least. Can’t speak for Ed though.” Jim had returned to stroking, or whatever, his double bass.

Mm, Ed was a problem... But what could be done? Should anything be done even if it could? Kevin just hummed.

“You, um,” Jim punctuated the awkwardness that had descended – Him now giving his instrument the physical caresses of a lover wasn’t helping that – “You wanna go get something to eat, or something?”

“Ooh boy, yes! I’m really hungry!” Kevin practically jumped up from the box, full of arm-swinging vigour. “Do you think there’s any dessert going yet?”

“At this time, we’ll be lucky to get more than cold shit-pizza.”

“Dang.” Kevin even clicked his fingers cartoonishly.

Was the innocent naiveté a devious cover, or were the perceptive, sly moments flukes in an otherwise angelic programming? Jim couldn’t decide as he watched Kevin looking around expectantly, even rubbing his tummy as he talked about the nearest place they could go to get candy.

Candy wasn’t really Jim’s thing. Or not a couple of hours before dinner at least. If Kevin wanted to go get something sweet to suck on, Jim would tell everyone where he was – and hopefully it’d keep Kevin quiet till showtime if his mouth was occupied, Jim also considered muttering to himself.

Kevin smiled gratefully either way. “I expected you to offer me something else to suck on after our little conversation but thanks, Jimmy! I’m gonna go get me some lollipops!” He started marching off.

‘Something else’, huh? “Well, if you do ever get horny and frustrated,” Jim offered.

Kevin paused, slyly looking back. “Who says I’m not already? All these naked men around...”

Jim stared.

Kevin winked. Even that was full of childish clumsiness.

Yet everything in that curled smirk left Jim flustered, needing to glance at Grammah to calm himself down.

Then Tyler was shouting on-stage again, Ed was shouting for him to shut up, and Kevin was already gone.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Yeah, for the purposes of this fic Ed, Kevin and Jim are bisexual while Steve and Tyler are heterosexual.


	5. Chapter 5

Another long stretch of interstate...

Ed really needed some fresh air, a chance to stretch his legs. But the tour bus needed to stay free of the intensely hot and noisy air outside the windows, and it certainly didn’t need anyone running up and down the tiny length of room in it either.

He could do with some quiet though, from Steve and Kevin’s chatter and Jim’s inadequate headphones letting out the tinniest, most annoying parts of each song he was currently listening to.

Ed headed for a different part in the back of the bus, if for nothing else but some different internal scenery to go insane staring at – It was definitely getting to _that_ part of the tour, the depths of thinly-strung nerves and sleep deprivation – and couldn’t even be bothered to do more than groan that Tyler was back here watching TV. He just needed a different seat for his butt to go numb in.

After a couple of minutes, he heard the sound of the TV click off. It should have been pleasant, but when all he could hear now was the sounds of the tour bus rolling on, the same one he’d been stuck on every day for a month and a half-

Looking up, Ed may not have enjoyed it much better but he was grateful to Tyler, who was looking at him with a concern that could only signal the TV had been turned off for Ed’s sake.

“Bus-cabin fever?” Tyler asked.

Ed gave a single, withering laugh.

“I wanted to stop watching that anyway,” Tyler said after a moment; “I hate seeing food I want to cook and then remembering I can’t for another two months till I actually have a goddamn kitchen of my own again.”

Home... Man, home sounded so good right now...

“The others are getting on my nerves,” Ed said, nodding to the main part of the bus.

“Wow, you mean I’m _not_ getting on someone’s nerves for once?” Tyler asked. “I must be losing my touch.”

Ed laughed properly this time. “Must be. I can’t believe you’re the most appealing of the options available to me right now, Ty.”

“Hey, I’m plenty appealing!” Tyler objected, simply because he had to.

“Yeah, to a female gorilla maybe...”

He had muttered that but Tyler’s new expression suggested he’d heard anyway. Strangely though, no retribution came. Well, not yet at least. “...You wanna get naked?” Tyler shrugged at the look Ed gave him. “Sometimes helps me when I get cabin fever.”

“Only because that’s your solution to just about everything, as far as I can tell,” Ed said before retracting his slightly snide tone. “Sure, whatever.”

It did help a little with the feeling of being trapped a little, Ed supposed. Like usual, perhaps there was some grain of decent in the random stuff that came out of Tyler’s mouth.

Still left him with 80% of his frustration though.

“Doot bap?” was Tyler’s next suggestion.

“It’s the middle of the day, Ty.”

“So?”

Yeah, that was pretty, “So?” around here. With their schedules, you took relief where and when you could get it.

Still, as Ed meditated on the sight of his own dick, “...You ever think it’s weird how sexual things are round here?” Ed asked. “Kev joining just got me thinking... Is it weird that we fuck sometimes? Do you think other bands do it?”

“I don’t know. I’m sure _some_ do,” Tyler responded, not elaborating on which ‘some’ he was thinking, or fantasising, of. “And... I guess it is kind of weird, but it’s not like we’re having affairs or anything; all our wives know and stuff.” And generally agreed because of the threat of accidental groupie-banging otherwise. “I think it’s pretty common for co-workers to fuck sometimes; seems to happen all the time in TV shows.”

“You do know that’s just for drama, right?”

“I’m just saying, we work together, we’re forced to be together all the fucking time,” he gestured between the two of them sat naked together, “and we have a lot easier access to beds than having to do it in the photocopier room; seems pretty much inevitable to me.”

Inevitable: that was certainly how it felt with Steve. The other guys though... “I think Kev’s okay with it anyway,” Ed moved on. “He seemed pretty into the blowjob I gave him. He just seemed kind of... extra curious, so it got me worrying.”

“Well don’t. Kevin’s always been kind of...” Tyler cast around for a reasonably inoffensive word, “peculiar. Kind of innocent-virgin-choirboy so, you know, he’s probably just looking for an outlet for all the sexual stuff he had to suppress as a teenager.”

“Think he’s still a virgin?” Ed asked.

“Don’t know. Probably.”

“You wanna bet?”

Tyler laughed. “Only if I can take that he is.”

“Loser has to eat whatever disgusting food the winner finds for them?”

“Deal.” Tyler didn’t even bother moving, just turned up his voice to yell, “Hey, Kev!”

A, “What?” drifted back from the main part of the bus.

“Get in here and drop your pants; I wanna see if your hymen’s still intact!”

There was a, “My _what_?” followed by the sound of talking, Steve’s voice explaining something, then noises of intense disgust and humiliation in a familiar Hearn’s voice.

Tyler turned to Ed with a grin. “If he doesn’t know...” Ed sighed. “We’re nearing the south, right? How d’you feel about bull testicles for dinner?”

Ed glanced out of the window, frowning that they just happened to be passing a field of cows at the exact moment he did so. “Might as well eat Kevin’s; doesn’t sound like he’s got any use for them...”

~#~

Kevin had been having a really nice chat with some of the guitar techs – Boy, these guys and gals sure knew their stuff! – right up until he had been summoned by the almighty Fin.

And not just, “Kev, can I have a word?”

It was, “Kevin. I need to talk to you,” and in a nice, serious tone too.

Even the techies looked worried for him. Kevin made sure they were watching him go, the last people to see him alive before he followed Fin to wherever he was being taken in the sprawl of backstage.

Fin had opted for one of the offices, a lot of tech and easily moveable filing cabinets. No one else was in here right now. Uh-oh.

He was gestured to sit on a table edge if he wanted. Fin opted to stand.

“Ed told me you’ve been asking about him having sex with Steve,” Fin began in a hard but not hostile tone. “A couple of the crew members heard you talking about something similar with Jim at soundcheck the other day. Luckily it was a couple of the trustworthy ones who already know.”

Kevin fidgeted with the hem of his T-shirt. Darn, it was starting to fray. It had such a cute picture of Scooby-Doo on it too...

“Is there something about it that makes you uncomfortable, Kevin?”

“What?” Kevin looked up. “No, not uncomfortable! I’m just... was just trying to work it out. We didn’t do things like this in my previous bands,” he offered as a sweet, innocent joke.

Fin did give in to slight amusement. “Yeah, these guys are... _Anyway_ , is there a problem with it?”

Kevin shook his head.

“Good.” For a telling off, Fin was doing this pretty kindly. Maybe it was more a straightening out actually. “I’ll admit I found it weird at first, tried to stop it even,” Fin continued, “but that just ended up leading to more problems than it solved. So now the guys let me in on it- On managing it, that is!” he corrected hurriedly, rubbing at the back of his neck in embarrassment. Kevin started smirking a little bit more than he should of. “I make sure it doesn’t get out or cause problems in the band. It’s part of my job as tour manager now, even if it’s definitely not what I signed up for...”

“Running your own BNL breeding program, huh?” Kevin cheeked.

Fin frowned playfully. “The last thing I need is more of you lot, especially at the levels some members would be producing them.” He sighed though. “But I care about you guys. I want you to be happy so I keep an eye on this because I have to. I know you’re new and it’s probably pretty strange to you but please stop talking about it everywhere,” Fin told him, winding down to what he had brought Kevin here to say.

“Okay.”

“I just wanted to check if it was making you uncomfortable; I can put you in different rooms and get the guys to stop doing it around you if you like,” Fin offered.

“Nope!”

Fin gave him a little bit of a enquiring look but, “Okay then. I thought Tyler had told you about what went on before he signed you up for the band or I’d have done this sooner. ‘Prepared for life on the road with BNL’ my ass; you didn’t even know the songs until a few days before we left...”

Kevin chuckled at the muttering about Tyler. He heard a lot of that around here.

“Anyway, no problems?” None. “And you’ll stop talking about it?”

“The guys told me some of the crew know, and I thought I was being quiet- Um, yeah,” Kevin agreed, ducking his head.

“Thanks. If someone finds out, that’d be the biggest problem of them all.”

“I know. Sorry for being a bother...”

“It’s fine.” Fin clapped him on the shoulder to get Kevin to at least raise his head again. God, could their new keyboardist do ‘kicked puppy’ well. “Just keep it in a bedroom if you have to, all right? Be subtle,” Fin told him.

Kevin nodded. “So, are you fucking anyone?” he asked and grinned.

He’d judged it right because Fin laughed and told him to get the hell out already.

~#~

Oh man. Again?!

Kevin really tried to ignore the sounds of Ed and Steve moaning together, encouraging each other on, but they were only a couple of a metres away now, no real wall between them. They were in the back part of the bus, no doubt making a mess of the furnishings Fin would scold them for later.

And why was Kevin stood out here by the entrance to that back part, listening and maybe even trying to peek in slightly?

He didn’t know. That’s why he was asking himself right now.

Still, it wasn’t as if anyone could ignore the noise – Tyler and Jim had sent him back here explicitly because the three of them couldn’t – but as to why he was dithering here, more watching than waiting for a moment to burst in-

“Enjoying yourself there, New Guy?”

Kevin startled from his hiding spot, disappearing completely for a second then peering around obviously so he could see Steve seeing him. “S-Sorry, I was looking for my drawing pad- Lost a pencil back here- Um...”

“You’ve got one too many excuses there, buddy,” Ed said, looking back over his shoulder at their blushing voyeur. “You wanna join in?”

“Um.” Kevin slipped out from behind the doorway, then after a moment walked through it to take a seat in the back. Not where Steve was laid back on the larger bed-seat-thing, Ed riding him with slow, expert movements. Kevin sat instead on the other side, legs together and hands squirming in his lap, just looking at them.

Ed raised an eyebrow, the rest of his expression unfazed by the cock he was currently riding. “You must be even bigger than I am if you’re gonna join in from over there, Kev.”

Kevin blushed, and tried to keep his gaze from lingering on Ed’s impressive size for too long, opting for the ceiling eventually instead.

“Ah, let him,” Steve said, returning to lying back against one of the cushions; “I don’t care.”

That made Ed relent too, instead focussing again on the sex.

Steve was on his back, eyes closed and arms behind his head, simply enjoying Ed riding him. Ed was watching Steve’s face closely, panting a little more now. His hands were all over Steve’s body, playing everywhere and drawing that amused, content smile to Steve’s face when he was really pleased with the situation.

“Pity you didn’t actually leave your pad in here so you could draw us like this,” Ed said a little breathlessly, not even taking his eyes off Steve as he addressed Kevin.

“I, um,” Kevin looked around him. There were only empty food packets, which he collected to put in the bin, and a bottle of lube that he dropped quickly once he realised what it was. “S-Sorry. I only came back here to tell you two to keep the noise down a bit.”

“So why’d you stay?” Ed asked out of amusement.

“Er, Tyler was... farting a lot,” Kevin tried.

The other two laughed. “If you’re gonna run every time someone starts farting you’re not even going to make it to the end of this tour, let alone stay on permanently.”

“Yeah, just wait until we’re in a hot tub together,” Steve said.

“Or a jacuzzi, as it soon becomes,” Ed finished, knowing exactly what Steve was going for.

Still blushing too much – Why couldn’t he have come up with a less embarrassing excuse? – Kevin excused himself, leaving the other two laughing before they quickly dissolved back into moaning again.

At least it was slightly quieter now.

“Mission accomplished?” Kevin asked sheepishly as he got back to the other two at the front.

“The mission certainly took a long time,” Tyler commented, collecting the cards back up to deal for three.

“They started teasing me about stuff...” Kevin pouted.

“If you’re gonna run every time someone starts teasing you, you’re not gonna last long here, Kev,” Tyler told him.

Kevin was starting to wonder if he even wanted to last long around here. “I told them to keep the noise down anyway,” he focused on as the new round of cards were dealt.

Tyler’s opened mouth was interrupted by an incredibly loud yell of pleasure from the back of the bus, from Ed. He frowned at Kevin before putting his mouth to use. “You told them straight, didn’t you?”

“Err... Yeah?” Kevin tried hopefully.

Tyler shook his head as the noise continued, Steve asking Ed if he liked that and Ed enthusiastically telling him that he did. “That’ll just make ‘em want to do it louder!”

“After all,” Jim added, “no one does anything _straight_ around here.”

Jim might have grinned as if it were a joke, as Tyler laughed and Ed again yelled from the back of the bus, but Kevin saw the focussed gaze in Jim’s eyes, fixed right on him.

Kevin picked up his cards and hid his own expression behind them.


	6. Chapter 6

Pranks were one part of BNL tour life Kevin had anticipated.

He supposed a small, tiny part of him might have been happy that first time he found his jacket pockets filled with cheap, roadside-café ketchup and knew he was now ‘one of the gang’.

The rest of ‘the gang’ could have helped pay his dry-cleaning bill though.

Anyway, no one found it particularly surprising for Jim to pull back from checking his bunk one bored, mid-tour morning with a hardcore, gay porn mag in hand, asking, “WHAT THE HELL?!” and “WHO PUT THIS IN HERE?!”

And just because it wasn’t surprising, that didn’t make it any less funny. The band had their entertainment for the whole week with that one prank.

Jim noticed who wasn’t teasing him though, which was bordering on flagrant mocking by the time they got back on the tour bus that night. Kevin said it was because his ‘choirboy brain’ couldn’t come up with any good jabs the others hadn’t already done. Jim noticed the constant eye on him though, the one of a prank-setter watching over their prank.

And in a few days, when the magazine had lost its place to Steve’s laundry being tied to the back of the bus while driving, “to save on laundry costs,” Jim could take it back out from under his pillow where he had squirreled it away after officially making a disgusted show of throwing it in the bin.

It was a high quality one; had Kevin brought him this as a present gone awry?

The guys in it were hot, scantily clad and single at first, then paired up in suggestive poses, then finally naked. Jim’s hand slipped down into his baggy, drawstring running shorts at that point, unable to resist his erection anymore even inside their grey, well-worn unsexiness.

It was just slow, unsophisticated strokes, satisfying his need for friction.

Then Jim found the circle.

He almost sat up, only remembering the bunk ceiling just in time. Squinting was all he could do at first, then the hand not down his pants scrabbled by his shoulder for the bunk slider, shutting it all the way. It turned up his mini bunk-light too, allowing him to push back the curls from his forehead and see properly.

There was a ring of biro ink drawn around one of the pictures, a half page one accompanying an article on condom safety. Jim didn’t think it was about that though.

The circled picture showed two men, a tall, thin one with curly ginger hair sat back against some pillows and a similar man, only brunette, lying on the bed in front of him, smiling up with his mouth pressed to the side of the ginger’s cock. Their faces were completely different, the ginger’s hair was too short and the brunette too masculine in build but it was unmistakable who it was meant to be, right down to the way the brunette had his legs bent up behind him, kicking them childishly in the air.

They looked happy, in love. It wasn’t a sex-picture but a couple, two men who looked like they knew each other and were friends.

Maybe Kevin hadn’t had any other choice – Flicking through, Jim found neither of the men appeared in any of the other pictures – but that one; the thought Kevin and him in bed together, having sex, being able to smile and laugh and openly talk about his feelings-

Jim felt precum leak out all over his hand. He stifled his soft moan against his own right shoulder, feeling it travel all the way down to his dick in that hand. Pressing his eyes shut, he whimpered, a couple of hard strokes releasing the name, “Kevin...!” loudly inside the bunk.

Jim froze, still erect and pulse pounding in his ears as he lay and listened for the noise.

Someone had to have heard that. Ed below him, if not Kevin on the other side too just for bad luck. Heck, even Tyler two bunks below him might have heard; Ed, sadly, wasn’t just a big piece of soundproof foam.

Eventually Jim allowed himself a breath, one that just made him jumpy about any sounds it might have blocked out.

Had that been a creak? Someone had definitely rolled over.

Would they say something? Would they just yank his slider open and catch him mid-act?

Jim pre-empted them, cracking his bunk’s slider again and putting his ear to it; it was getting stifling in here anyway.

A full five minutes and nothing seemed to be coming. No one even seemed to be moving.

Jim closed his slider again, returned his hand down his pants and began to work up a new erection. As heart-pounding as that had been, it had proven his safety and now he could lay back, grin, and lift that porn mag back up.

Where had Kevin bought this? Had it been specifically for Jim or for his own use until he found the picture? Had Kevin blushed as he bought it? As he flicked through it in his own bunk? Had he been naked as he circled that picture, imagining the two of them too? And if Jim offered to recreate it, would he say yes?

There were so many questions to fantasise about...

~#~

Normally Kevin was returning his long glances these days. Jim supposed the object of his attention was currently engaged with Fin right now though, stood outside the tour bus while Jim watched through the window. Taking one’s eyes off Fin without back-up, witnesses and some legal form of stun gun wasn’t generally advised once a tour was in its second month and the tour manager long overdue a mid-tour break.

That was something they all needed, but in lieu of that-

“‘Shoe Box’, Steve?” Ed repeated, more firmly and loudly this time.

“Fine,” Steve replied shortly.

Ed cast his hard frown down the bus, safe with Steve’s nose buried in a book and his back firmly to them despite that requiring quite an uncomfortable angle.

Steve was in a mood with everyone currently, for some sudden reason. Ed was trying to change up the setlist to break the mid-tour monotony. Tyler was bored out of his mind without the joking of the other two and seeing how long he could keep two drumsticks in his nose before anyone said anything. So far, no one actually cared enough to say anything.

Jim tried to watch Kevin and Fin again-

“Jim?” Ed called on him.

“What?” He didn’t mean to be as terse as he sounded.

A quick exchange of facial expressions explained that to Ed and he returned to a tired neutral. “Songs for about two-thirds through the show?”

Jim’s head rolled back to his shoulder, to the window where he could stare. “‘In the Drink’?” he suggested, toes curling impatiently in his shoes.

Ed made a sound. Not a good one. “Nothing for the other three to do though...” He was trying to work out if that could be a positive, give them rest time; Jim knew that by now without Ed even needing to say it. “You feeling ‘Spider in My Room’ for a few days?”

Like he ever got his wishes around here. “Sure,” Jim shrugged flatly.

Fin was now making a placating, accepting gesture towards Kevin. It was one you made when a child had been persistently bothering you for too long and you’d agree to anything just to get them to stop. Fin just wanted to walk away, rubbing his temples and probably muttering all sorts of profanities to himself.

On Kevin’s part, he was left beaming. Earlier in the conversation he’d been blushing and twisting his fingers in that adorable way he did when he was nervous, or play-pretending he was nervous at least. Kevin had been asking for something, and appeared to have gotten it.

And now he was coming onto the bus to join them.

“So, uh,” Jim launched himself back into the setlist discussion at such a speed one of the sticks fell out of Tyler’s nose, “what are we finishing the set with?”

Ed gave him a curious frown but dutifully answered, “I’m thinking ‘Crazy’ for the energy one, ‘Break Your Heart’ for a slow maybe. ‘I Know’ or ‘This Is Where it Ends’ for a rare one in the encore.”

“Yeah, yeah! That sounds good!” Jim agreed too enthusiastically.

Both Ed and Tyler were giving him a look now. Even Steve might have glanced up from his book.

It was Ed that was looking around for some source of this new-found interest Jim had - “Oh! Oh, what about ‘Grade 9’ too? We haven’t done that in a while!” - and noticed the sound of bouncy footsteps coming up the bus stairs first.

Signalling his deduction, Ed played along, “Yeah, that’s a good one actually, Jim,” and nudged Tyler to join in.

“Think I could play it with the sticks in my nose?” the drummer proposed, still slightly nasal.

“You could probably play that one with your forehead,” Ed suggested back playfully.

“’s not like he’s got many brain cells to lose that way...” Steve muttered.

“‘Grade 9’ then,” Ed said, just to make noise while waiting for whatever was going to happen between Jim and Kevin. “I’m kind of sick of ‘Crazy’ to be honest.”

“Bet it hurts your wrist after a while,” Jim said.

“He just needs to practice more then.” Tyler made a obscene, pumping gesture.

“Shut up, Ty-”

“Hey!” They all paused to look up at Kevin’s happy, little shout. He’d gone to his bunk to remove his jacket but now walked through to the back with a discovery in hand. “Look what was in my bunk! Someone left me a new friend!”

Everyone stared at Kevin’s new ‘friend’, even Steve.

Floating a foot above Kevin’s right hand, attached by a bit of sparkly pink ribbon, was a thin, 5-inch-long balloon. With marker pen, a smiley face and cute arms giving a thumbs up had been drawn onto one side. His head had a little, pinched nub at the top though, and there was an unmistakable ring at the bottom beneath where it was tied. Not to mention the unusual beige-ish colour and lubricated shininess of it.

Then they all stared at each other, especially at Jim.

“Anyway,” Kevin continued, smiling at his new friend bobbing around beside him, “I’m off to get a snack from catering. Anyone else want anything?” After a general head-shaking, “Okay!” Kevin turned around to skip off.

“Ke-” Tyler clamped his hand over Ed’s mouth.

Kevin looked back. “Pick me up a bottle of water, Kev?” Tyler asked.

“Sure!” But then was on his way without further interruption.

The four left all stared after him. Even Steve put a bookmark in his book.

“...He does... know what that is, right?” Ed asked slowly.

Jim watched through the window as Kevin left the bus, new friend still merrily in-hand.

“You did that, Jim?” Tyler checked.

“Uh, yeah...” He couldn’t help frowning though; Kevin completely hadn’t got it.

After another moment of silence, “Well, he seems happy carrying it around,” Tyler pointed out.

“Ty-”

“We’ll tell him later,” Tyler promised Ed. “Just let the crew get a few laughs out of it first.”

“...All right.”

~#~

The crew had gotten more than just a few laughs out of it by the end of the day.

Kevin had carried his helium-filled friend around everywhere; they’d had a struggle to stop him from taking it out onto stage for the show, and he’d only been convinced thanks to the threat it might pop if he did so.

From the way he was acting, Kevin did seem to at least know something was funny about his ‘balloon’. His oblivious innocence had increased abnormally to the point where he had to be putting it on to give everyone extra laughs.

But the fact he was still keeping it up even when they’d retired to the tour bus that night, still buzzed from the new setlist and therefore, aside from Steve, not heading to sleep just yet-

“Kev, are you going to give it a rest any time soon?”

Kevin stopped spinning his friend around, as he’d taken to doing when left with nothing to do today. “Sorry. Is he too shiny in this light?”

“No, I meant...” Ed sighed. He finally spoke seriously, “You do know what that is, don’t you, Kev?”

Despite having stopped the spinning, Kevin’s friend continued to turn slowly beside him. Kevin’s brows eventually knitted though, admitting it. “Okay. I know _something’s_ funny about this balloon,” he said. “There’s probably some reason why you greased it like this so I can’t play with it. But no, I don’t know what movie or TV show it’s a reference to- It’s probably something you watched last tour, isn’t it?” he turned slightly snide. “You’re just making fun of the new guy again, aren’t you? Well, have fun while it lasts! I won’t be the new guy forever, you know!” It wasn’t as if this band could last another 20 years without anyone joining after all.

Tyler laughed. Ed just groaned. Jim’s face didn’t go past a smile but the slow shaking of his head signalled more.

“Oh my God. He _really_ doesn’t know...” Ed groaned again.

“He’s Catholic, Ed,” Tyler chimed in; “you can’t blame him.”

Kevin frowned. “What’s that got to do with anything?”

“They didn’t teach you about contraception in school, did they, Kev?” Ed said, hoping that would be enough.

Slowly, very slowly, Kevin’s eyes drifted to his right. Then his head turned. And finally came the horrified expression. “You mean I’ve been carrying around a CONDOM all day?!”

The whole bus broke into laughter. (Not that you could have heard it under the three raucous hyenas with Kevin, but if you had been able to listen closely you would have heard snickering from Steve’s closed bunk too.)

Kevin instantly let go of his ‘friend’ and started frantically wiping his hands on his jeans and the upholstery, making, “Ew!” sounds and blaspheming like only a repressed Catholic choirboy could.

Despite laughing, “You- Hahaha!” and really struggling for breath, “You’ve NEVER seen one be-before, Kev?!” Ed howled out with his laughs.

“I’ve seen them in packets! And out of packets when they’re,” he gestured vaguely, “‘on’. But no! I’ve never seen a- Ew! I hate you guys!”

It took a long time to get calm restored, though there would be after-laughs going on for hours. By the time the others stopped laughing, Kevin was sat fuming and sulking, curled up in the corner Steve had occupied earlier where it was very easy to show everyone you were turning your back to them.

Jim was first to notice where his ‘friend’ had gotten too, floating up by a corner of the ceiling, bumping his nubbed head on the bus top as if he wanted out. The thought of him flying free, off to find a penis in need, sent another small chuckle through Jim. It was probably about time he did something about both poor, cornered airheads though.

Tyler and Ed laughed again as Jim stretched up, catching the sparkly pink ribbon the balloon filler had let him have when he explained what precisely he wanted to fill with helium and why. It was easy to tug back down to Kevin’s height, letting it float in front of Kevin’s face while Jim stood to the side.

Kevin’s head turned slightly as it came into his field of vision. He still obstinately refused to have anything to do with anyone though.

“Jim was the one who did it!” Tyler oh-so-helpfully yelled at that point.

Now Kevin spun round, shooting Jim such a dirty look.

Jim met him with a smile, trying to keep his amusement restrained. He winked with the eye Ed and Tyler wouldn’t be able to see.

Kevin pouted. He made a big huff. He snatched the sparkly pink ribbon and shoved Jim aside with his feet. “We’re going to bed!”

“Kleenex is right here, Kev!” Tyler shouted after him.

Kevin proved he at least knew what a middle finger was for before sliding into his bunk and slamming the slider. A few moments later it reopened to spit out a pair of trainers but then closed again for good that night.

Ed and Tyler were left still sniggering jokes to each other. Jim supposed he’d better slink into his own bed too now his ‘fun’ was done.


	7. Chapter 7

“Hey, Ty, what’re you doing today?”

Wow. Steve had said something to someone that wasn’t a sarcastic mutter or teenager-style grunt. “Dunno,” Tyler answered. “Heading into town to wander around aimlessly I guess.” What else to do with a day off?

“Mind if I join you?”

“You don’t wanna go round with E-?” Tyler didn’t even need to add the second letter to get a death glare. “Wanna find somewhere good to eat?”

“Sure.”

After being politely asked to leave an old-timey candy store for taking too many free samples, and chased out of an old-timey haberdashery for making too much fun of the stupid hats, the two wound up in a mom ‘n’ pop cafe somewhere they were completely unsure of – They had till tomorrow to find their way back to the hotel, or let Fin find them.

Over his burger, Steve was frowning out of the window. “Is that Kevin?”

Tyler looked round. “Probably,” he agreed. “You don’t see many other grown men carrying around little penis balloons on a sparkly pink string.”

Kevin’s response to the condom-balloon incident had been for the first day to sulk, then for the second and subsequent to proudly parade his friend around everywhere wherever he went. Now that he had also found wherever Jim had kept his balloon-writing marker pens, his friend had a new, very fetching mess of red curls on its head and its features seemed to have been suspiciously modified to look like Jim.

Jim had, at least, taken the ‘Jimdom’ in good sport after what he’d done to Kevin. Things between them had remained surprisingly amicable considering the incident.

“He’s not with Jim today,” Steve remarked, quickly adding, “I mean, the full-sized one.”

“Those two are always hanging out these days...” Tyler chewed it over with his chips. “...You think we should be worried?”

“Why?”

“Well, it’s always the quiet ones, they say,” Tyler said. “So having two quiet ones together, up to something...”

Steve smirked a bit. “I’d say you’re being stupid but the other night when Jim gave him the balloon back, he winked at Kevin.”

Tyler’s fry flopped. “ _Winked_ at him?”

“Yes, it’s a process involving quickly closing one eye whilst the other remains open before reopening the closed eye-”

“Funny one, smart-ass.” Tyler lazily flipped him off.

Steve didn’t deliver a follow-up about all the brains his ass was smarter than. “You couldn’t have seen it from where you were. I only saw it from my bunk so I guess they thought no one was looking.”

“You think they’re up to something?”

Steve thought, but he just shrugged. “If it’s those two, I doubt it’s anything dangerous.”

“Or interesting,” Tyler declared. “Probably just talking about colourful bugs they’ve found or something.”

“Yeah.” Kevin had gone by now, walking away with his little friend to wherever he spent his days off. “...He’s fitting in pretty well I think,” Steve remarked after another few meals.

“Kevin? Yeah, he’s always been a pretty flexible guy. Ex-gymnast, you know.”

For a second, Steve almost fell for that one. “Ed seems to like him,” Steve said, focussing his gaze back out of the window.

Uh-oh. Ed. Tyler stayed quiet even if Steve had been the one to suddenly drag him into a field of landmines. All he could do was say nothing and hope Steve might disarm a few first.

For Tyler Stewart to go suddenly quiet Steve knew what he had obviously done. “Yeah, Ed’s been getting on my nerves lately,” he admitted. “Between Jim’s porn mag and this whole Kevin-condom thing, the whole gay thing’s going too far lately; it’s not funny anymore for one but it’s gotten Ed worried about Kevin and trying to analyse what we do – Is it normal? Do other bands do this?”

“He asked me that stuff too,” Tyler said, simply to break up Steve’s little rant.

“We’ve been doing this stuff for, like, 7 years or whatever, since we started, and _now_ he starts worrying about it again? I thought he got it: No feelings, just physical.” Steve finished off the last of his burger, reaching for the dessert menu. “It gets so gay around here...”

Tyler chuckled. “So that’s what you wanted me for?”

“Well, Jim’s always been kind of... _liberal_ ,” for want of a better word.

“Classic free-loving hippy.”

“Yeah, that,” Steve agreed. “And Kev’s...”

“Never had a girlfriend.” Tyler finished his plate too. “Far as I know.”

Steve leant in slightly. “You think he’s...?”

“Dunno. He’s Catholic. He was in a lot of choirs, all-boys school.” They nodded conspiratorially before breaking into laughter. “Aw, man. See? The gay’s rubbing off on us, making us gossip like this!”

“Well, I wasn’t going to mention it,” Steve faux-gossiped back, “but have you _seen_ Jim’s hair lately?”

“Never mind that! Have you seen what he’s done with it _down there_?”

The waitress arrived at the table to raucous laughter in progress. Hands were being slapped on the table and eyes were near watering. “...I’ll give you guys five minutes,” she said, deciding escape was definitely the best option.

Eventually they calmed, leaving the two of them wondering what had even been so funny. Tyler, rubbing a napkin around his face, “Don’t worry about it, man. Ed’s probably just looking out for the new guy, or making sure he doesn’t squeal to anyone.”

“Oh yeah. I forgot about that,” Steve said, cleaning his glasses on his shirt.

“It seems like everyone knows but it was probably just while Kev adjusted. I don’t think anything’s going on.”

“Between Ed and Kevin?”

Tyler paused. “I meant between you and Ed. ...You think there might be something between those two?”

“I don’t know...” Steve returned to staring out of the window, trying not to seem like a freak so the waitress would come back and bring them ice cream. “I never know what’s _really_ going on with Kevin...”

“You and the whole rest of the world, buddy.”

~#~

The funeral for the ‘Jimdom’ was held a few days later.

Kevin had noticed it slowly losing helium over time, becoming floppy to the point where it looked constantly stoned – so still quite similar to the real Jim – and thus he had tried to blow it back up. Without a supply of helium at the current venue he had resorted to using his own breath, hoping a mix of that and the remaining helium would be enough.

Of all the times he had chosen to do it, he had chosen during a soundcheck though. No one was watching him at the time, not until the sudden squeak of the ribbon being undone, Kevin’s little yelp and then an odd sucking as he put it to his lips and tried to both blow and stop the air coming out at once.

He’d come away coughing like a castrated mouse, shouted into his mic about how terrible the condom tasted and ended up blowing the soundboard’s treble because his voice on helium was that high-pitched.

It hadn’t taken that long for his voice to drop back down-

“Unlike his testicles during puberty!”

“Hey! Shut up, Ty!”

-and not that much longer for the soundboard to be fixed but Kevin’s mood had been as limp as the ‘Jimdom’ for the rest of the day. He was last seen that night crawling into bed with it, cuddling it one last time now it would never know the joys of floating ever again.


	8. Chapter 8

“Okay!” Fin called over the noise of the minibus. “Roomings for tonight!”

Along with the general cheering of a hotel night after days of bus-bunking, there was the usual whining from the children: “I need some sleep, man! Don’t stick me with Ty and his snoring again!”

“Fuck you, Creeggan! At least I’m not up doing _yoga_ at 5am like a pretzel!”

“It’s called ‘peacock’ and it’s really good for your-”

“I wanna share with Jim!”

“-don’t care if it’s good for your-”

“Oh boy! This’ll be just like a slumber-”

“You ought to try ‘cockerel’, or just the first part maybe-”

“Oh, real funny-”

“GUYS!”

The children hushed down instantly. Ed sunk back into his Gameboy while Steve was facing backwards in his seat, grinning like the only kid in class who hadn’t been told off.

“Ed and Steve are together,” Fin announced with no surprise, “and that’s fine, Jim; I had you down for sharing with Kevin tonight anyway.” Jim perked up briefly at that, then looked at Kevin. The other man was busy smiling dreamily out the window at the billboards going by. “Tyler, you’re with me; there aren’t enough spare rooms.”

Tyler rolled his gaze away and Kevin snapped back to attention, air-punching playfully. “All right! Me and Jimmy get to stay up all night painting our nails and talking about boys!”

“10am departure,” Fin ignored Kevin having his daily ‘mooncalf’ moment to remind them. “I don’t want anyone being late.”

There were a few, “Got it”s and such from around the minibus before they piled out for today’s radio station gig.

~#~

“Jeez, that show went on way too long.” Jim towelled his hair dry as he emerged from the en suite of their room. “What the hell are you doing drawing, Kev?” he continued chattering. “You’d better not make any noise if you stay up. I’m fucking whacked...” Jim knew why he was chattering.

It was the same reason Kevin was lain over the armchair with his drawing pad against his knees but no pencil in hand, as well as the reason Kevin had been so quick in the bathroom while Jim had been so long.

“...You deliberately arranged this with Fin, didn’t you?” Jim said quietly.

They were finally alone in a hotel room together.

Kevin chuckled softly behind him while Jim switched from towelling his mop of hair dry to pretending to sort through belongings in his bag instead. “I told him I wanted to spend some time with my new, good friend Jimmikins. And in the interests of getting me better acquainted with members of the band, he agreed.” Kevin could have said that all in his silly, sweet tone. He said it in his dark, salacious one instead.

Jim continued reorganising his bag for no reason, only letting his glances drift as far as the long shadows cast by the standing light behind Kevin. “‘Better acquainted’?” he questioned.

“Well, it seems like we have a lot in common,” Kevin said in a flippant tone with a sly smirk on his face.

“Yeah?” Jim played along, having already reorganised his toiletries in half a dozen different ways.

It was slightly unsettling when Kevin didn’t give an answer. Nerve-inducing when there was the soft sound of his slippers meeting the floor. When the footsteps were only a foot behind him, Jim turned around and fast found himself backed up against the wall.

“You want me, don’t you, Jimmy-boy?” The dark glow of Kevin’s blue eyes were like an unholy fire. “Well, you’ve got me.”

Jim’s eyes flicked down, to the bathrobe he was wearing versus the T-shirt and boxers Kevin was. Yes, they’d both been sending signs, some less subtly than others, but shit. To think their innocent little Kevin could become the creature now pinning him to the wall, voice low and hands firmly fixed either side of Jim’s shoulders.

Kevin’s breathing was slightly deepened, every exhale ghosting the bare skin of Jim’s chest. The slight shift of Jim testing if there was any chance of escape just made Kevin press closer.

Their eyes locked, breathing falling silently into sync as they waited for the first move. Jim pressed back tighter against the wall. Kevin’s fingers flexed, drumming patiently.

Then fabric slipping loose pulled Kevin’s gaze down. Jim’s sly fingers had undone the belt of his gown, baring pale, smooth skin down to where shadows became his only underwear.

Kevin looked back up to see Jimmy C’s shit-eating grin, when Jimmy C knew he’d finally got what he wanted.

Well, some temporary keyboardists weren’t that easy, particularly not this one.

Kevin stepped back, wiping that grin straight off Jim’s face and onto his instead. Jim was left confused and bare at the wall, whole body now illuminated by the standing lamp. Barenaked Ladies had better be careful which way up they kept their bassist too; he had almost as much messy, ginger hair down there as on his head.

“What the hell, man?” Jim had moved into frustrated as Kevin remained enigmatic, just smirking as he appreciated the view. “Are we having sex or not?”

“Don’t be so eager, Jimmy,” Kevin teased; “hasn’t it been fun playing our little game?”

Even as Jim advanced Kevin didn’t back off. “You mean I’ve been stuck bunk-whacking for the past two weeks because you wanted to play a game?”

“Were you thinking about me?”

They stared each other down, Jim’s couple of extra inches making the ‘down’ part easier for him.

“...Maybe I was.” Now Jim was smirking too, drawing closer again.

“Oh! Guess I won then!” And Kevin had returned to beaming like a kid. “What are we playing next, Jimothy?”

He was so nearly sure right now; the innocent part was the act in Kevin. Maybe in the light of morning he’d rethink, but for tonight, “Take your clothes off, get on the bed and I’ll show you,” Jim ordered softly.

Still grinning like a kid playing games, Kevin began to strip, even making a, “Pop!” as his T-shirt came off over his head before pushing down his boxers and kicking them away. He watched them sail and land on the lamp with a perfect shot, the squirrels and nuts adorning them back-lit cheerfully.

Jim was too busy watching what had been left behind. The thin frame, pale and innocent skin, and that flushed erection bobbing against his stomach.

He watched Kevin drop backwards onto the bed, bouncing and never losing the smile as he asked again about the game. But no ‘innocent, little angel’ would be breathing that heavily in anticipation or curling their fingers in the bed covers and toes in the carpet waiting. It really was funny; there was something almost predatory about Kevin’s innocence.

“You look like a vampire in that,” Kevin joked as Jim strode over, still in his open and slightly billowing bathrobe.

“Oh yeah?” Was that Kevin-speak for ‘Bite my neck while we do this’?

Kevin giggled and then mumbled, “How does that go again...? ~Swimmin’ a swim in the suds; I wanna drink your... blood~” as Jim backed him up, crawling astride Kevin and shedding the robe.

Just two naked men on a bed now, the top kissing his way down the other’s chest, “~Butterfly kisses, in the taste of delicious~” heading south, “~I’d like to sip the sap from your tree~”

“~I have a secret that just won’t keep~” Kevin giggled back; “~All I wanna do is brush your teeth~”

Jim dropped his forehead onto Kevin’s stomach in defeat. “Please stop abusing my songs while we’re doing this...”

“But they’re so much fun!” Kevin said before turning a little sly again. “I’ve been listening to them a lot lately, to hear your voice.” Jim lifted his head again. “~Up the river, I journey on, ‘Cause this salmon’s ready to spawn!~”

“Seriously. Stop,” Jim grinned and warned, “or else I will.” He dropped another kiss just above Kevin’s navel, then one just below.

“Jim...!”

Warm lips closed over the head of Kevin’s cock. Jim worked it for a while until the shaft was wet and a new bead of precum appeared after each one he licked away. “How do you wanna do this, Kev?”

“I really don’t care! Just hurry up and get inside me!”

Jim sat up with surprise, but Kevin was looking pretty desperate. “Yeah?”

“Yes!”

Maybe Kevin _was_ still part-child; he was certainly pouting like one. “You bottomed before?”

“Uh, yeah. Of course,” Kevin said, wriggling and parting his legs a little wider. “Here,” He tossed a tube of KY jelly and a condom down from the nightstand.

Jim caught it, impressed. “You’re prepared.”

“I’m not _yet_ , but if you’d hurry up with it...”

Jim laughed as he got back into position, making sure Kevin was comfortable so he’d relax. “You’re demanding.”

“You’re slow.”

“Seriously, Kev,” A slicked-up finger found its way in after a couple of prods to get Kevin to relax, “I guessed you’d be the type to be quick during sex but even during the foreplay?”

Kevin huffed strong enough to disturb the lock of hair resting on his forehead. “We’ve just done about two months of foreplay. I don’t think ten minutes now is going to make much difference.”

“I’m just saying...” Wow, Kevin could really arch his back if you got his prostate just right. “Do you do yoga? That looked like a good fish asana just now.”

“No, and I’m not interested,” Kevin panted slightly, “Not unless there’s a horizontal doggy pose,” and took the time to grin.

“You know, you certainly make a lot of jokes for a guy with two fingers up his ass,” Jim commented.

“Is it only two?” Kevin lay back with a deeply groaned exhale. “Feels like three...”  Jim continued to silently work him, being careful with the tight muscle. “...What the hell is all this preparation for anyway?” Kevin went on to complain since Jim wasn’t replying; “you’re hung like a frankfurter.”

It was length versus thickness; each had the other beat slightly on something. “I don’t want to hurt you, okay?”

Well, kindness or not, “...I’m getting kind of bored, you know.” Kevin squirmed a bit as a third, slim finger went in. He began casting his gaze about the room, then to Jim where he cracked a crooked smile. “So, come here often?”

“No,” Jim leant in closer to murmur, “but you’ll be coming here often soon, in my bed,” and curled his fingers, finally pressing on Kevin’s prostate again after deliberate avoidance.

“Ah! Jim...!”

“Careful. Don’t come already, Kevvy.” Kevin shot him a dirty look for the nickname. “Ready for me?”

“I’ve been ready for the past five minutes. Are we going or not?”

“Whine, whine, whine. If you weren’t going to keep me up all night anyway because you wanna be fucked so bad...” Jim bent Kevin’s legs up as he got into position, reaching down to stroke Kevin’s dick as he pushed in. He felt the gentle moan vibrate through Kevin’s body into his with the first thrust in.

Things fell quiet then  aside from the rhythmic slapping of skin and the low, slightly reedy moans from Kevin as he got his ass fucked by Jim.

A change in angle after a minute and Kevin began to gasp a little louder, the noises more often sounding like Jim’s name.

“You okay?” Jim asked when he could, glancing to the lube. He could feel a considerable tension still in Kevin’s muscles but-

Kevin was reaching for him, long fingers lightly grasping at Jim’s shoulders as he moaned his name. Kevin wanted him closer? Another angle change?

Jim stopped bracing himself on Kevin’s bent legs and leant in. What Kevin wanted, it seemed, was to grab Jim’s scalp and pull him in for a deep, clumsy kiss.

The rhythm faltered, leaving them just kissing for a quiet moment in the hotel room.

One of them pulled back. Kevin’s face was caught on one side by the light, his lidded but intense gaze looking up and puzzling at Jim’s expression. The light was behind Jim and his face was harder to see: Startled? Displeased? Kevin looked away from what he couldn’t make sense of to play with the glowing curls at edge of Jim’s hair. “S-Sorry...”

“...s’okay, man...” Jim started again, focussing on his rhythm and angle. His gaze focussed on Kevin’s neck as he felt Kevin rising to that threshold again, ready to come.

All it took was a hand between them, a few quick strokes, and Kevin spilled with an awkward cry he tried to strangle, fearing being overheard.

He had tightened and Jim felt the hot semen sticking between their stomachs as he pressed closer, resting the side of his face against Kevin’s. Not much further.

It was the soft whisper of his name in his ear by Kevin, in such relief and elation, that did it.

Jim came quieter, just stilled aside from his hips twitching as he came inside Kevin. They lay there, panting, sweaty, sticky, until Jim eventually rolled onto his side for courtesy, staying close though.

“...Wow,” Jim finally decided.

Kevin laughed a little breathlessly, almost verging on hysterical. “That was sex? That was amazing!”

Jim propped himself up as much as his spaghetti-feeling limbs would allow. “You said you’d bottomed before.”

“Ah. I lied.” Kevin smiled crookedly before turning his face to Jim. “Sorry.”

God, expressions that cute should be illegal. “Wait. So I just- You just let me take your virginity, Kev?”

“Yeah.” His closed his eyes in a dopey smile. “No receipts. No return without proof of purchase.”

Well, holy shit. Jim looked down the body he’d just made his, so thin, so pale, sprawled out in utter beauty on the bed beside him. What to even say? “...You sure sweat a lot during sex. Good thing you weren’t the one doing the moving.”

“Maybe I will be next time.”

“Yeah?”

Kevin hesitated. “Well, if you don’t mind, that is...”

“Course not. I’d like...” Jim caught himself going to stroke the side of Kevin’s face. He put his hand down on the bed between them. “Why’d you kiss me during?”

“Oh, well...” Kevin laughed nervously. “I realised we hadn’t kissed yet and I thought... you know... In movies they always kiss before they have sex so... Sorry.” He squirmed sheepishly, then discovered something. “Ew, the lube’s leaking back out!”

Jim laughed at Kevin reaching between his legs and coming away slightly sticky. “Don’t apologise.” He leant over and kissed Kevin again, taking his mind off all that. They paused after one kiss, watching each other’s eyes for a moment, then continued through two, three and more without stopping.

The soft necking continued until Kevin was fidgeting too much about being all sticky in uncomfortable places. “Ugh, I need the bathroom...” He rolled away off the bed, standing with a little shudder as he ‘enjoyed’ the sensation of sticky fluids running down his stomach and the inside of his leg. “Why is sex so icky?”

Such a kid. “Come on. I need to clean up too.”

After all they’d done, and living together for two months, Kevin supposed he shouldn’t feel uncomfortable about having Jim in the bathroom with him. It still felt weird though, the wiping and cleaning that were so clinical following after something so intimate and intense, and seeing that physical symbol of what they had done lying in the hotel bathroom bin after Jim striped off the condom.

Kevin was yawning as they came back out, confronting a clock that said it was staggeringly past a decent time when they should have been asleep. “Are we sharing a bed?” Kevin asked.

“If you want.” They fell into the clean bed together, trying to ignore the state they had left the other in.

Kevin kept staring across at it though, even as Jim kissed the back of his neck. “You really like kissing me, don’t you, Jimmy?”

“Yeah,” Jim said like it was nothing so Kevin accepted it was. “Lay down already, Kev. We’ve got another show tomorrow.”

“Are we going to talk about this in the morning?”

Jim stopped kissing. “Yeah, sure.”

“Okay.”

Kevin finally lay down. Just one final thing though, “Who’s going to turn off the light?”

“You’re closer.”

“You’re taller; your legs are longer so you’ll get there and back quicker.”

“Your reasoning’s more wordy. Get the light, New Guy.” Jim practically kicked him out of bed.

Crawling and grumbling, and only tripping over once on the way back, Kevin did and came back. One tall guy in a badly-sized hotel bed was one pain, but two together, having to spoon- “Am I the girl in this?” Kevin asked as Jim’s hips curled around his backside.

“No.”

“Well get off where my breasts would be then! Stop feeling me up!”

“Kevin, for God’s sake shut up and sleep.”

“Hmph.” Kevin squirmed but accepted his fate.

They fell still slowly, a bundle of lanky, cuddling limbs in one bed. Long legs tangled together, long feet resting on top of each other’s. Even as he twisted and squirmed in his sleep though, Jim didn’t let go of Kevin all night.


	9. Chapter 9

The light filtered in early; that’s what you got with shitty hotel curtains.

It woke Kevin up but he could tell from his combined senses Jim was still asleep curled alongside him. He wasn’t getting up from the arm thrown over his chest and legs wrapped around his though.

Kevin sighed.

He turned a little to Jim, his pointy nose meeting some particularly errant ginger curls crawling across Jim’s cheek. With an arm freed from Jim’s vicegrip, he pushed the curls back gently and then poked the soft flesh of Jim’s cheek. Jim didn’t stir. “Still out to dinner with the dream-birds, huh?” Not even a twitch. “That’s okay. So long as I get to lay here beside you.”

What else was there to do but lie and watch Jim’s face, reciting key signatures in his head, until his eyelids drooped and he woke up again.

“Kev! Breakfast!”

Where? What?

When?

“Come on, man! Get up!”

“What’s the...?” Kevin trailed off into a yawn as he sat up. “What about last night-?”

“Later.” Jim, fully-dressed, walked straight past Kevin sitting naked and uncovered in bed without even a glance. “We’ve only got an hour to get ready now. You wanna be late for Fin?” Jim looked now, but only to send a warning.

“No.” Kevin bolted from the bed at that, gathering himself in the bathroom- Wow, it was 9am already?

By the time they’d had breakfast, cleaned up and packed up, getting to the bus was a matter of sprinting. Jim had him completely beat at that too.

Radio interview, complementary lunch, travel to the venue, sound check. Kevin tried to grab him after that. Jim deliberately excused himself to talk to a tech.

Evening meal, show, meet and greet, tour bus-

Wait, how had a whole day gone by?

He waited up for Jim. Jim slept. Tyler didn’t. Kevin wasn’t sure he wanted to stay up for what Tyler did when he needed to relax alone at night.

All right, tomorrow then. Today had just been busy.

~#~

“Can’t sleep again, Kev?” Steve asked as he came through to the back, making the other insomniac startle. “This is the third night now I’ve seen you stay up.”

“Oh, uh- I go to bed in a bit,” Kevin squirmed, looking further down the bus to the bunks. “It just still takes me a while to wind down, you know?”

“Ah right; the rush of stardom! The thrill of the stage!” Steve laughed at his own dramatics. “Still a big deal to you, huh, New Guy?”

Steve was definitely clinging to that nickname the longest. “And you’re used to it? With an audience that throws mac ‘n’ cheese instead of their underwear?”

“Fair play.” Steve got the bookmark out of his novel to settle into it. “Ed’s thinking about writing a song, something all about underwear, just so we’ll finally get some.” He fiddled with the pages. “That’s what it takes with this band...”

Kevin smiled appreciably at the idea, then made humming noises. “Well... guess I’ll turn in now. I’m feeling all... wound down, and all. Yeah.” He swung himself off his seat reluctantly.

Steve gave a glance, but whatever the weird new guy wanted. Kevin trotted off like a puppy slinking into its bed, finally giving some quiet once Steve heard the slider slide.

A chapter later-

*slide*

He didn’t even look up.

“Can’t sleep, Mr. Page?”

“Probably because I’m being bothered by a Mr. Robertson.” Steve did glance up now. “Seriously, you could bother the driver from here with that thing.”

Ed laughed quietly, crawling onto Steve’s legs and into his lap, his heavy erection resting on Steve’s stomach. “You’re just jealous.”

“Of what? The fact you could take your eye out with your own dick?” He eyed it up himself. “There’s a point where it stops being an advantage and just becomes a nuisance, you know. Also, you look ridiculous.” His gaze returned to the book pages, refusing to look at the man with a Rush T-shirt and socks on but his massive, erect dick hanging out.

“Help me out then,” Ed murmured in a low, playful voice, massaging Steve’s nipples through his shirt.

“God help me, Mr. Robertson, if I thought there was any hope for you I would have put you out of your misery long ago. As it is, I merely keep you around to satisfy my own masochistic tendencies.”

“Steeeeve...” Ed crawled up under the book with a whine, getting right in the way and softening his pretty eyes.

Steve sighed and reluctantly groped for the bookmark. Ed’s imaginary tail began to wag as it slipped into the book and he had the whole of Steve’s attention to himself.

“Fine,” Steve massaged his eyes under his glasses, “but I don’t want to traumatise Kevin if he gets up again.”

Ed started pulling off his best friend’s shirt. “You’ve noticed he can’t sleep too?”

“Yeah.” Steve submitted to the undressing impassively, only moving when he needed to straighten his glasses on his face. “Something ain’t quite right with those kids of ours, Ma.”

“Oh no.” Ed refused to play along with Steve’s ‘southern bumpkin’ accent, jabbed Steve in the waist instead. “You’re the one with the child-bearing hips, _Ma_.”

“Maybe,” Steve grabbed Ed’s ass, “but I’m not the one who always has a cock shoved between them.”

Ed scowled and blushed, but lightened up quickly when he remembered his usual self. “Wanna try making another? Let’s try for a harmonica-player this time!”

“God, no...”

“I’ve always wanted one of them in band,” Ed joked as he started divesting Steve of his trousers.

~#~

Six straight nights of shows, the longest string of the whole tour. There was a good reason it was the only one too, given how close someone was to getting a plectrum in the eye or drumstick somewhere worse if they even raised the idea of a seventh – And that was just what the band would do, let alone the crew.

Kevin didn’t think five men could get undressed as quickly as they did climbing onto the bus that night after the sixth; clothes were flying through the air, hitting windows and furnishings as if they had been catapulted. Not one to be left out, at least not these days, he got in on the fabric-hurling and dropped into an available seat.

Steve and Ed dived onto and sprawled out over the other seat, and then Tyler took up the final remaining space on that side.

That meant when Jim, who’d followed Kevin onto the bus, had shed his clothes and needed somewhere to sit-

Kevin glanced as Jim’s naked butt hit the seat beside him. Jim had left a foot of space between them, as much as they could without looking suspicious, but a mile wouldn’t have been enough to stop his body reacting to the presence of Jim’s naked body.

Kevin wrenched his gaze away, focusing it on Steve and Ed’s naked wrestling – And, no, that wasn’t a euphemism – across from him instead.

He was certain Jim was glancing at him occasionally as the other three fought though. His own occasional glances at Jim nearly caught a few.

But, aside from the glances, nothing was happening between them. The two of them were just a quiet audience to the wild antics of the other three, which now involved Ed’s travel bag, some light biting and even an unfortunate pair of fan-made hats for Ed and Steve that weren’t going to last very long at all being worn there.

And then the pair of trainers came flying at Kevin.

He dodged them safely but in dodging he fell onto Jim, one hand going into Jim’s lap and Jim’s arms going around him to catch him. They both made an awful, fumbled job of it and ended up touching each other a dozen more times than if they’d kept calm about it.

Kevin had yelped, and Jim had made some sort of noise in response, which drew the attention of the other three. Ed, Steve and Tyler stopped their messing around to watch Jim and Kevin sitting side-by-side but quickly shuffling to get away from each other, a mix of blushing crazily and looking distraught on their faces. “...You okay?” Ed asked, both about the trainers and them in general.

“Fine!”

“Yep!”

“Totally okay!” They gave one too many answers between them and knew it. Kevin shuffled back closer to Jim to alleviate things, gathering the lobbed trainers to put somewhere safer. “I just, um, I freaked out. I wasn’t watching out for flying shoes.”

“Right,” Ed accepted, still frowning slightly.

Jim and Kevin had returned to sitting side-by-side, a normal distance between them again, and both looking relaxed. From the outside.

They could both feel it, the metaphorical spark between them.

And they could both feel the literal static it was causing, the hairs on their close arms and legs rising on the side the other was sat on. Their bodies were literally reaching out to each other, even if it was only hair. At least the shock of the whole situation had killed any chance of erections to really incriminate things.

“...Well, go on,” Jim finally said to the other three, sliding into his jokey mode; “I was enjoying the show.” He threw one arm along the back of the sofa, away from Kevin, and dropped the other into his lap to grab his dick.

Now Jim was the one getting shoes and worse hurled at him. At least it gave Kevin a legitimate reason to move away from him. Even if, really, he just wanted to sit as close to Jim as two human beings possibly could.


	10. Chapter 10

Finally a free day again! They rolled into town around lunch, the choice of where to eat decided by one of Fin’s five-person-deathmatch coin tosses. Even after the winner was fairly declared he still had to physically drag Kevin by the collar to stop him sneaking off to his chosen ice cream parlour.

“We’re going to the hotel next,” Fin announced over the clink of cutlery and ping of spoons being used as mini-catapults at the end of the meal. “Roomings are the same as last time, except Ty.” The drummer looked up. “You’re with Tiny; I can’t take your snoring either.”

“Stick me back with Jim then,” Tyler said; “he’s most used to it.”

“No way, Bub!” Kevin latched straight onto the arm of Jim beside him. “Jim’s mine!”

There was a collective turning of too many heads. Kevin hadn’t meant for his outburst to be that loud, or possessive.

“Er, he still hasn’t finished the story he was telling me last time!” Kevin further defended, his voice curling into a childish tone.

He still got weird looks from Tyler and Steve across from them. Ed was beyond Jim and couldn’t be seen.

Jim himself though, “...You wanna let me have my arm back yet, Kev?”

“Oh!” Kevin let go and quickly turned to Fin. “Any chance of ice cream?”

“You just had-” He sighed, ignoring the empty plate of chocolate cake already in front of Kevin. “Maybe Jim will take you later.”

Kevin punched both fists up in childish triumph while Jim muttered something involving the word ‘babysitting’.

Slowly the odd looks around the table evaporated, but they weren’t forgotten.

~#~

They were finally into the hotel room. Beds chosen, bags dropped off, a leak taken- Jim was pretty sure he hadn’t locked the door behind him coming in though. He knew who had, therefore.

“Why are you avoiding me, Jim?”

Jim continued to face the door. “I’m not avoiding you; I’m avoiding this conversation.”

“Why?” Kevin actually prodded him in the back.

Jim relented and turned. His gaze still wouldn’t go anywhere near Kevin’s face though. “Because we slept together, and I... Well, I... I wouldn’t mind doing it again.”

“Me too. Why’d you think I got Fin to keep rooming us together?”

He dared a look at Kevin’s smile. It just made things harder. “Not just- I _like_ you, Kevin.”

“I like you too, Jimmy.” Kevin kept beaming.

“No. I _like_ you.”

“And I like you too.”

Kevin’s smile hadn’t changed. It hadn’t changed since the moment they met. But Jim now knew that meant nothing about Kevin behind it. His smile was how he dealt with it, with anything. Even in the years to come and everything they’d bring, Kevin would still be smiling.

That was why, “I have feelings for you, Kevin. Proper feelings.”

“I know.” The smile softened slightly but somehow stayed the same.

“You know?” Jim questioned haughtily.

“Yep.” It changed to a grin for a second. “You _like_ me, and you were afraid of your feelings getting hurt if I didn’t like you back.”

Jim grinned now. “You sneaky, little asshole.”

He knew instantly from the smile that glittered in Kevin’s eyes he probably shouldn’t have goaded him like that. “You were also afraid I did like you back, because we’re not allowed to date in the band and that ‘no’ would be even harder.”

Another bull’s-eye from Hearn. More like a triple-20, actually.

“Aw, Jiminy; you should have used better protection when we slept together,” Kevin said for one heart-stopping moment as he leant in; “I caught feelings too.” He was leaning in for a kiss. Soft, slow and romantic.

Or it was meant to be. “Kevin, take the gum out of your mouth before you kiss me.” Not that Jim minded the blue raspberry and chocolate cake taste too much, all things considered.

“Oh.” Kevin pulled back and returned to chewing.

“So you also...?”

“Yeah.” Kevin chewed extra hard in anticipation. “Can we do it again now?”

“Seriously? Right here and...” Jim trailed off as the bubble expanded towards his face, popping an inch short of his nose before being sucked back into Kevin’s mouth.

“Doing it after a show is tiring.” Kevin was already walking off towards the bed, tugging on his shirt. “Will you show me how to top this time?”

Jim stared a little staggered by the blasé speed of all this. Did he even want to-?

Kevin glanced back, flashing a wicked and cheerful smile.

“Sure.” Jim followed straight across the room, avoiding another sudden bubble attack. “Spit your gum out already, man.”

“No! It’s still got a couple more minutes of flavour left!” Kevin chewed frantically to finish, blowing out another bubble as Jim glanced at the clock then started taking his shirt off. “’ook! ‘ook!”

“Yeah, I see it, Kev. Your last one was bigger.”

Kevin whined and sucked it back in a final time, going to the bin to spit it out with a, “Ptooey!”

“Why do you act like such a kid all the time?” Jim asked, shedding his lower half now.

“I don’t do that, do I?” Kevin came up behind him innocently. Jim tried to look back as a clothed body pressed up behind him, arms slithering round. He got the real reply murmured more quietly in his ear; “You’ll have to wait until you’re a gold-level member of The Butterscotch Ripple Gang to know that, Jimmy-Jams.”

“The fucking what?” But never mind; Kevin was kissing him again and it tasted so good. And like blue raspberries.

There would be plenty more time to figure out in the future, when Kevin’s hand wasn’t moving down over his cock with that naughty twinkle in his blue eyes.

~#~

It was almost too much energy just turning his head to look at the cheap, kitschy clock the hotel provided. “Soundcheck’s at 4, right?” Kevin asked lazily, still petting Jim’s hair.

Jim’s affirmative grunt wasn’t even a word. He was lying snuggled down on Kevin’s chest, arms wrapped tight around the back of his new, sparsely-haired pillow.

“Whatcha think of that then, Jimothy?” Kevin drawled smugly, looking down at the body he’d completely tuckered out with their little mattress romp.

Jim sighed that he had to talk and squeezed tighter. “I think you get way too hot and sweaty on top, and that you’re just calling me weirder and weirder names each time. But it was great.”

Kevin grinned. He was too thrilled to care about all the messy ickiness this time. Maybe he could even grow to like that; neither he nor Jim had anything to catch so they could go ‘barenaked’ any time they liked. “Mmm...” he let out in a murmur, “oh Jiminy...”

“Seriously, what’s with all the stupid nicknames?” Jim asked, lifting his head slightly from the cradle Kevin’s arms had it in.

“I’ve been coming up with them for you, if we’re going to be spending so much more time together.” Gleefully, Kevin pointed to his travel bag where he kept the list. “A special treat just for you, since I can’t just keep calling you Jimmy or Jimmy-boy.”

“You could call me Jim. That thought ever cross your freaky, wacked-out mind?”

Kevin laughed at the notion. “Oh, Jimbalaya...” He returned to petting Jim’s hair affectionately.

Great. What could he do with ‘Kevin’? It wasn’t even his sort of thing. Maybe he could just start letting his mess creep into Kevin’s areas on the bus, or borrow his- “How long do we have until- Shit!”

Suddenly Kevin was down one ginger cuddle toy and bared to the elements, Jim having leapt out of bed and taken the covers with him. “What?”

“Soundcheck!”

Kevin cocked his head at the clock. “It’s at 4.” 3:39 wasn’t 4.

“Yeah, _it’s_ at 4; the bus taking us was at nine minutes ago! Don’t you listen to Fin?!”

“...Oh!” The realisation hit Kevin along with his boxers in the face – spaceship-themed today. “Oops.” He still dressed with all the hurry of someone who would have swore if he wasn't such a big choir boy.

“Can’t believe we...” Jim was grumbling. They had fallen asleep but he thought it had been a nap, not a siesta.

“Are we going to be in trouble?” Kevin asked, hopping around in uncooperative jeans.

“Let’s just say we’re not going to be rooming together for a while,” Jim snapped back bitterly.

“What?!” ‘Kicked puppy’ was firmly back in place in Kevin’s voice and quivering lip. “But Fin said...”

~#~

Whatever Fin had said, the next day he said, “Steve and Ed, Kevin and Ty, Jim and me.”

Kevin had to stop himself whining aloud. “But Jim’s not finished the story he’s reading me! I need to find out if the princess is going to make the right choice and stick with the dragon!”

Everyone rolled their eyes this time, except Fin who narrowed his sharply. “Well, maybe he can read it to you after soundcheck, if we finish _on time_ _today_.”

Fin must have been really well vaccinated as a kid; he was even immune to Kevin’s strongest puppy-eyes.

They dispersed, as much as they could around a cramped tour bus, to each do their own thing for the next hour. Kevin shot as many longing glances as he dared but he used the rest of his looking checking how obvious he was being. Apparently very; everyone on the bus was acting like he was checking them out.

Everyone seemed extra grateful about finally getting off for soundcheck today. That meant they could avoid Kevin, aside from Jim pausing for a pretend-fault with his bass’ lead right beside Kevin’s keyboard.

“Meet me in the bathroom afterwards.”

“’Kay,” Kevin murmured back as Jim walked on, no eye contact made.

It kept his mind a little distracted throughout wondering what Jim could want but the desire to find out, and therefore needing to behave, trumped that curiosity until soundcheck was done cleanly and quickly.

Kevin entered the bathroom at the venue as soon as he could afterwards, loitering around and figuring he might as well relieve himself in case anyone came in. Someone certainly was taking their sweet time to avoid suspicion, if they were even coming. “~Jim, Jim, Jim-Jim-Jam; I’m gonna make me some PB and Jam. Jam, Jam, Jam-Jam-Jim; I’m gonna eat me some PB and Jim~”

“Not gonna make it onto the next album.”

“Gah!” Kevin spooked but then finished drying his hands. “Jeez, Jimboree. Don’t startle a man like that.”

“Enough with the names,” Jim laughed a little this time. “Come on,” He dragged Kevin’s clean hands towards a cubicle; “I wanna make out for a bit since you lost us our rooming privileges tonight.”

“Oh! Okay!”

~#~

“He’s probably just off hunting chocolate cake or ice cream or whatever,” Ed grumped at the round-up.

“Well, I want him found,” Fin told them; “especially if he’s bothering catering.” He got to walk off and do other fun manager-things while the three remaining band members were left standing behind feeling like crew.

They lingered a moment, glancing at each other, before Steve spoke up slyly, “Anyone else notice Jim’s missing too? At the same time?”

“Yeah,” Tyler agreed.

“He said he was going to the bathroom,” Ed reminded them diplomatically before suspicions got too far out of hand.

“Which is also the last direction we saw Kevin going in,” Tyler said.

Steve was giving him a look too and Ed eventually sighed. “All right, fine. Something does seem up with them. But what do we do about it?”

“Get naked?”

The other two looked at Tyler.

He shrugged. “Solves pretty much every other problem in this band.”

“Yeah, I kind of think that’s why we’re in this mess...” Ed observed dryly.

“No, but come on,” Steve reasoned; “we’ve got no meet and greet after this show. Let’s all get naked together in someone’s room. Get it all out in the open, whatever’s going on.”

“There’s ten days of tour left; can’t we leave them be?” Ed appealed.

“I say that’s why we need to now. We’ll all go separate ways then. We don’t want anything festering while we’re apart if Kev’s sticking around.”

Ed couldn’t argue against something caring like that, annoyingly.

He at least got his wish to leave them be for now though. They weren’t bothering anyone, most of all catering, so why throw away perfectly good ‘dibs’ on the best food?


	11. Chapter 11

“You know, I’ve heard you can get things you stick on your nose to stop you from snoring,” Kevin began conversationally, heading up to the hotel rooms with Tyler.

“Can you get daytime ones to stop your voice being so nasal?” Tyler shot back before brushing off Kevin’s little scowl. “Nah, come on; we’re not sleeping tonight anyway.”

“We’re not?” Kevin sounded a little panicked, or just tired.

“Naked night in Ed’s room.”

“I wanna sleep...” Kevin’s feet started dragging him towards his designated bed.

“Nuh-uh. This is, uh, it’s tradition.” Tyler started dragging him the other way down towards Ed and Steve’s room. “There’s only ten days left of tour so we have a naked party tonight, New Guy.”

“Hmm.” Kevin would have called ‘Bullshit’ if his mother hadn’t taught him not to say such naughty words.

Everyone else was already there, or all three at least. Steve and Ed were chatting about something in the nude on one bed. Jim was sat in a chair across the room, his eyes and whole being lighting up and focussing on Kevin once he entered the room. Kevin returned the attention on Jim’s naked body, having no interest in anything else in the room.

“Kev?”

“...Huh?” He finally realised Ed was speaking.

“Kev, you joining us?”

“Or are offering to be tonight’s entertainment?” Steve added before launching into singing stripper music with Ed in perfect sync. Tyler was soon naked with them and joining in whilst Kevin looked about for a way he could now get naked unnoticed. Maybe he could sneak behind Jim’s chair...

“Oh! Do you want to give Jim a lap dance instead?” Tyler suggested wickedly.

Kevin blushed and stared, trying not to wonder why Jim was subtly shifting in his seat and opening up his lap a little more while he stared so intently with those deep, hazel- “M-Maybe another time...” Once he had a clue how lap dances worked; Kevin was pretty sure you didn’t just stand on the other person’s lap and dance but what else could it mean?

“After Jim’s finished reading you that bedtime story?” Steve asked, lying on his front and kicking his legs. Kevin was trying not to stare at Steve’s ass, something Ed was failing worse at.

“Must be a long story,” Tyler added in, his interest on Kevin’s reactions.

“I-It is. Very long,” Kevin said.

“Not as long as Ed’s ‘story’,” Steve joked, cracking a grin that knew. Tyler had the same grin. Ed was just going along with things, his gaze waiting more patiently and caringly on Kevin.

“All right, guys; stop teasing him.” Finally Jim stepped in.

Kevin was no princess though, even if he wasn’t much of a prince, dragon or anything else instead. “Yeah, I got horny and shagged Jim! What of it?” His ‘bad-boy’ side wanted out, ridiculous as his stuck-out bottom lip looked.

“ _You_ shagged _Jim_ , huh?” Tyler laughed.

“It’s one-to-one,” Jim clarified.

Steve just sighed. “And here I thought I might get to bed the new guy first...”

“Hey!” Kevin objected, still standing clothed in the middle. “I know I might be a hot commodity but-” He was cut off by all of them laughing for some reason.

“Kev, get your clothes off and sit down already,” Jim said, budging up a little to make room. Even he had laughed.

Pouting, Kevin ducked behind the chair to undress and then took his seat in a hunched up position. Even when Jim tried to look, no one was seeing little-Kev tonight if they couldn’t appreciate him properly.

All the guys wanted to do was play reverse strip poker for a bit now. It was dumb, enjoyable fun trying to dress seductively for everyone at 1am, completely sleep-deprived and still kind of buzzed from the show.

Everyone was still only half-dressed by the time play was stopped because Tyler had stuck Ed’s hand of cards down the back of his pants and no one wanted to risk picking up one of those cards in their next hand.

“Thanks, Ty.”

“Yeah, great going.”

“Aw, shut up.” He brushed aside the small storm of playing cards being lobbed at him. “They’re hotel cards; who knows how many asses they’ve already touched?”

Kevin stared down at the three of clubs he was still trying to balance on its corner in the carpet. Then at his hands. “...I’m gonna go wash my hands.”

No one stopped him, too busy discussing the next game instead. “How about Spin the Ed?”

“Fuck off. You know there’s a reason we’ve only played that game once.”

“Come on! That was hilarious!”

“It was disgusting, and Fin keeps using it as blackmail to make me behave or he says he’ll tell Nat.”

Kevin shook his head in the bathroom, no idea what any of that was all about.

“Jim and Kevin could put on a show for us.” That was Tyler’s voice suggesting it.

“What? No way.” Good old Jimmy-bob.

“Why not?” Steve and Ed were joining in.

“Why should we?”

“’Cause you’re hogging the new guy!”

“I’m not! It’s just none of you are good enough to score him!”

Kevin wanted to walk out with an, “Uh, guys, I can hear you, you know,” but at the same time... He lingered by the sink a little longer with clean and dry hands.

“’Good enough’? What do you having going for you?” Steve.

“It’s certainly not the hair, unless he’s got a Carrot Top fetish.” Ed.

“Fuck off.”

“Because you’re an easy lay?” Tyler. And a pause. “Well you are.”

“Kevin doesn’t want to sleep with any of you guys. Do you, Kev?”

Eep. That was a cue directed at him. “Erm...” He peered out, letting his eyes wash over Ed and go to Jim. “I- I’m not sure I want to sleep with anyone right now except a nice, warm glass of milk and the good-dreams fairy.” He put his arms up to block the deluge and groans. “Ew! No fair throwing ass-cards!”

“Get over here already.” Jim patted the floor beside him.

Kevin obeyed, sitting back down and pulling his knees up. He had his T-shirt and one sock back on. Jim had his shorts, zipper undone, and nothing else.

The guys were talking more about what they were doing tomorrow, and then when they got home. Kevin let himself fall out of the conversation, staring down and fiddling with his naked big toe. Occasionally he’d let his gaze drift sideways to Jim’s lap. The rest of the time he focussed on his wiggling toe, wondering if it was okay to put the other sock back on now the game was over. He didn’t mind staying naked elsewhere but one of his feet was warm while the other was cold and that was a big problem in Kevin-world. Like, call the Butterscotch Ripple Gang to cabinet crisis. What if his feet started warring? Or one tried to secede

~#~

and became a hand; he didn’t have a spare wrist for a third-

“...Huh?”

Bed. In a hotel room with Tyler occupying the other. The clock between them read 7:18am.

Oh.

How did he get here again?

Kevin sat up, finding he still had a T-shirt, no pants on. And, wiggling under the covers, “Gosh darn it,” only one sock. Since, looking around, he couldn’t see the other he reached under and pulled the culprit off before his right foot got any funny ideas.

Tossing it out of bed, something shifted on top of the covers.

There was a folded page torn out of a small notebook. His actually. Thanks to shitty hotel curtains Kevin could read it without turning on a light.

> _‘Hey Kev,_
> 
> _You fell asleep on me and stayed asleep even while we kept playing so we guessed you must be really beat. I carried you back and put you into bed. Didn’t want to panic your delicate, little mind if you were wondering about it._
> 
> _Don’t worry about the stuff the other guys were asking. They were just checking you were okay and weren’t being pressured into anything. I explained it all to them for you._
> 
> _Also, you owe me for all the teasing I took on our behalf._
> 
> _Love,_   
>  _Jiminy Cricket’_

Aw, he’d even supplied a new nickname too! Kevin hadn’t thought of that one. Where was his list?

Oh well. He couldn’t get up and fetch it right now without disturbing Tyler anyway.

Kevin just lay back and stroked over the lines of the letter for a while, smiling.


	12. Chapter 12

They had been ditched.

Or rather, Kevin and Steve had made themselves ditched while the other three were off attending whatever sporting feature it was now.

“It seems like all we have the same is the stuff we dislike,” Steve said, shifting about on the hot bench and wondering when Kevin would be done with his soda. “You dislike video games too?”

Kevin shook his head.

“Great going; now we don’t even have this theory.”

Kevin finished a particularly big slurp. “We both like the Beach Boys. And reading. And eating.”

Steve laughed. “Okay, fine.” It was hard not to like Kevin too he was so easy-going and innocuous. “But I do want you to know how nice it is to have another intellectual to hang out with.”

“The others aren’t... Well,” Kevin accepted. “Andy was into sports then?”

“Just like everything, he was just like Jim,” Steve commented dryly.

“Not in every way,” Kevin said. But he stuck his straw back in his mouth before he would elucidate.

Steve shook his head. He lay back against the bench and pretended he enjoyed the jerky-making sun beating down on his face. “...You like Jim a lot, don’t you?”

Kevin finished another slurp. “He’s like me. You know, quiet and stuff.”

“Weird,” Steve also suggested. “I’m quiet too, off-stage at least.”

“Yeah, but you’re always with Ed,” Kevin excused.

“Ed’s too loud for you?”

“No. He’s just... I think he likes being alone with you.” The straw went back into his mouth again.

Steve studied the way Kevin had threaded his straw through the bent-over ring-pull of his can, keeping it from bobbing out or moving when he wasn’t sucking on it. It was a smart trick. “Just because Ed likes it doesn’t mean I do.” Kevin turned with an eyebrow raise. “I mean, nothing against it. I meant it’s nice to have some company other than Ed or as well as him sometimes, that’s all.”

Kevin’s slurp turned slow, thoughtful. “...You think he likes you?”

Steve gave a single, “Ha.”

“All right, it’s obvious he likes you,” Kevin conceded. “I meant... He likes you.” That was the only way to put it.

“Yep.” And that was all Steve had to say about it. “...Do you like Jim?” If they were playing no games.

“I like Jim,” Kevin said simply.

“No, do you _like_ Jim?”

“Sure, I like Jim,” Kevin said again.

“No, like Ed likes me,” Steve clarified unmistakably. He saw Kevin’s straw was empty of soda even though it was still in his mouth. And Kevin was looking right at him now with those too-blue eyes. “It’s not- We’ve just seen the way you cling to him lately, always want to be paired with him. It’s like Ed acts towards me.”

“We’ve got a lot in common, Jim and I,” Kevin repeated. The calmness this time gave it a new seriousness though. “I just find him easier to be with because he’s quieter for when I need quiet time. Since you’re always with Ed, I’m always with Jim or Ty.” He didn’t need to explain that choice. “As for why I’ve only slept with him so far, he’s thinner; he’s more like a girl.” True facts.

“That’s true. You like girls then?”

“Yeah, I like girls.” Also true. Kevin’s lip curled on the side Steve couldn’t see though.

“Jim _is_ always up for bottoming...” Steve was now talking to himself, a making sense of it kind of murmur. “I guess that time he fucked you was teaching?”

Kevin nodded.

“Ah.” Everything seemed to settle within Steve.

Kevin had another slurp. He wasn’t interrupted this time. “I like this band,” he said after he was done; “I didn’t get free sex in any of my other ones.” Steve laughed. “It’s really neat, being friends that sleep together.”

“It is pretty cool; an easy lay _and_ a way to get tensions out.”

“...Why is there a no-dating-in-the-band rule though?” Kevin had to ask.

“Well, aside from the fact that no one would _want_ to be stuck with each other both on-tour and off, we decided it would get in the way of working together,” Steve explained. “You know, every fight would end up spilling onto stage or into the songs. Not to mention we already look gay enough without actually _being_ gay.”

“Lot of reasons.” Kevin nodded thoughtfully.

“...It gets lonely on that stage though, doesn’t it?” When he looked at Steve, the glare on his glasses kept his eyes shaded as he looked into the sky. “Have you noticed that yet, Kev?”

Kevin hesitated, wondering where that had come from.

“You have all those thousands of people in the audience in front of you,” Steve continued, “but they’ve literally put you up on a platform above them. There’s a divide between you and everyone else. Not many people understand what that’s like.” His gaze dropped from the sky. His eyes were closed. “That’s why you want to be with the people that do.” After his murmur, Steve reached out to pat Kevin on the shoulder. “Come on; I know you were done with that soda two slurps ago but you’ve made me need the bathroom anyway.” With him getting to his feet, Kevin had little option but to follow. “You got a girl back home, New Guy?” Steve asked conversationally as they left.

“It’s been nearly three fucking months- No, I don’t have anyone waiting for me except my family, friends and a cute, little turtle called Shelley.”

“You got someone feeding them?”

“She’s stuffed with fluff!” Kevin grinned a bit. “She’s the only girl waiting for me. After all, who’d want someone like funny, old me?”

~#~

Another few days on the tour bus.

Then finally a day off with a hotel, their last hotel night before home.

They crashed into this city too late for a concert or even for anything decent to be on TV- Well, Tyler liked the stuff that was still on. Kevin didn’t. He had prepared his own entertainment.

“I heard you’ve been an extra good boy lately,” Jim slung his bag down by one bed. “That eager to get under me again?” He grinned at Kevin.

“I think Fin’s under-appreciated around here, so I told him that.” Kevin set his travelling bag down more carefully. “And I may have asked him if there were any _special favours_ I could do for him since he’s been so nice to me this tour.”

“Oh man. Did you ask him like that?”

Kevin cocked his head innocently. “You know, he responded oddly to me saying it like that too. Weird.”

Shaking his head, still smiling, Jim could finally walk over and stand as close as he liked to Kevin again. “You’ll be getting a reputation as the new band-slut if you keep asking that kind of stuff.”

“I’ve stopped talking about it willy-nilly, don’t worry your pretty face, Jamie-Jims.” Kevin launched a pre-emptive hug before there could be retaliation for the name. “And I’m not interested in anyone but you now.”

“Yeah?”

Kevin grinned, matching that look on Jim’s face and then meeting it for a kiss. “Let’s see you with those long, luscious locks down.”

“It’s a hairband, Kev.”

Kevin still had too much fun taking it off and then running his hands through Jim’s curls.

Up until he was stripped, thrown down on the bed and utterly fucked, that is.

“Ohhh... I think I see stars...” Kevin didn’t actually see anything with his face planted into Jim’s deeply breathing chest but he wanted to pass on the sentiment.

He wasn’t the only one thinking he could see them, although Jim was looking for them on the ceiling. “God, you really do never shut up during sex, do you?”

“You keep talking too,” the mussed-up lump muttered.

“Only ‘cause you insist on holding a full-blown conversation every time.”

Now Kevin went quiet.

Whenever Kevin was quiet, he was too quiet.

“...Jim?”

“Yeah?”

“What did you mean when you wrote ‘love’ at the bottom of that note the other day?”

Jim almost preferred it when Kevin was talking about how sexy double basses were. Almost. He didn’t think he’d ever be able to look at Grammah the same way now. “I just meant, like... I love you, I guess.”

Kevin raised his head for this, too-blue eyes as sharp as ever. “As in properly? As in a way where you didn’t just miss ‘man’ off the end?”

“...Yeah.” He’d said he had feelings, and Kevin had them too, but...

“No-man love, huh-? Or, well, I guess it is _man-_ love but not like-” Kevin shut up and settled for a, “Really?”

Jim could have covered his face with his hair but he would have been just as red either way. “Yeah.”

With his closed eyes, the first thing he felt was lips pressing eagerly to his, slim arms wrapping around his neck to pull him deeper.

It stunned him how keen Kevin looked pulling back. “...Do you-”

“Wanna hang out sometime after the tour? Sure!” Kevin enquired and answered for him. “Of course, I’m sure I’ll be _really_ busy with all my adoring new fans now; it’ll take a while to sleep my way through all of them and sign all those br-breasts.” The idiot made himself blush with his own joke. “But I’ll definitely make sure to find time for my good friend Jimmikins!” He patted Jim on both shoulders in the most brotherly way, completely ignoring their naked bodies covered in combined sweat and semen.

Jim didn’t know what to do but stare at the- At this point he might have placed genuine money on Kevin being an alien who simply happened to look like a very pretty human male.

He just stared. Then slightly relaxed his eyes. “One day I’ll work out just how you tick inside, Kevin Hearn.”

The smirk grew larger. “Oh? Wanna wind me up again for good luck?”

“What does that even mean?”

“It means it’s not quite midnight yet,” The clock said 11:48pm, “so you’ve got me for twelve more minutes before I turn back into a pumpkin!”

“Oh God... Where’d you throw my hairband?” Jim actually started looking. “You need to be gagged, Kevin Hearn.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> That concludes the tour but there's still a bit more. The next few chapters could have been a separate story/part 2 sort of thing but they're not long so I'm just combining them in here for ease.


	13. Chapter 13

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> This chapter features Kevin's cousin Harland - Kevin used to live with him at some point around this time - and also a couple of stories about the two of them when they were younger that are entirely made up by me; I feel the need to add that disclaimer because a BNL friend of mine thought the family reunion story was real the first time they read this.

It started as, “You wanna hang out?”

Then, “You wanna catch that new movie that’s playing together?”

“You want to come try out this new restaurant I found with me?”

“How about coming over to my place to listen to this new CD I got? I’ll even make you dinner!”

There might have been some hand-holding during the movie.

There was definitely a kiss after dining out.

By the time they were over at Kevin’s alone they weren’t even trying.

This was the fourth night this week – Although it was Sunday now in their defence – and they hadn’t even bothered finding something to pretend they were watching on TV.

“Kev...!” Jim’s fingers fisted in the cushions of the sofa.

Kevin chuckled. His tongue flicked out again.

Jim grunted lightly as his head lolled back.

Kevin hummed and continued to suck.

“For God’s sake, Kev,” Jim finally snapped, “stop being such a tease!”

Kevin looked up innocently from what he had in his mouth. “You said I could finish my ice cream first.”

“Well, I didn’t realise you were going to fellate it instead of me.”

“Don’t be grumpy,” Kevin scolded teasingly; “grumpy-pusses don’t get their dicks sucked.” He pointed his ice cream stick at Jim for effect.

Jim darted forward and ate the remnants in a single bite.

“Ah!” He stared at the barenaked stick. “You rotten-!”

“Hurry up and suck me already.” Jim’s shorts were already being pulled down by him so there couldn’t be any more delays.

Pouting, lamenting his poor, pilfered ice cream, Kevin shuffled back when gently kicked to get into position. “Ooo! Strawberry-flavour!” He beheld Jim’s flushed erection for a moment before finally slipping it between his lips.

“If you somehow find a way to- ah! Talk through even this...”

After a few seconds of deep-throating, Kevin pulled back to be a prick himself. “I hear talking to plants is good for them, and since ‘penis’ is Greek for orchid- Or wait, is that the other way around-? Ack!”

“I taught you how to give a blowjob,” Jim said, holding Kevin’s mouth down on his cock, “now show me you were paying attention and not just using that to get a free one yourself.”

Kevin somehow managed to smirk even with half a dick in his mouth.

“Shut up.”

Kevin tried to look innocent and pull back to defend himself.

Jim held him down and finally relaxed, sprawling the rest of his limbs on the sofa when Kevin actually got to work and sucked properly. “Yes...!” And the new boy sure had talent; he was so thorough and delicate with his tongue, tracing up every small vein he could feel before sliding Jim deep into his throat. His long, slim fingers were searching out and massaging Jim’s balls too, taking the time to-

Kevin stopped at the sudden noise. He gagged when he realised it was a key in the front door.

Pulling back spluttering and choking, a rather pink-faced Kevin stumbled off the sofa and into the front hall to intercept, “H-Har! What are *cough* you doing back tonight?”

Harland looked him up and down with concern. “You okay, Kev?”

“F-Fine! You just surprised me coming back and all,” Kevin laughed nervously, “so I choked on my food, that’s all.”

“Why are all your clothes messed-up?”

Kevin smoothed down his rumpled T-shirt and re-did his zip; his late erection was proof you really could die of fright. “Just got out of the shower! Didn’t see the point in, you know!”

Harland looked like he didn’t know.

What he did know was what messed-up clothes and a flushed face normally signified. Harland grinned. “Sorry. Didn’t mean to interrupt your _date_ , Kev.”

“Date? What do you mean?” Kevin had stepped into the doorway to the lounge. “I’m not eating dates. I was eating ice cream.”

Harland just walked up and slung an arm around Kevin’s shoulders. “Finally found someone who’ll take that bothersome virginity off you, huh? Hope they’re not charging too much for the removal costs; it’s a big job after all.”

“Just because I didn’t lose my virginity to a dog-”

“For the last time, I was screwing with you about that, Kev; I lost my virginity long before I fucked your dog-”

“-it doesn’t mean I’m a loser who couldn’t have lost it if I wanted to; I was just waiting for the right person.”

“The right number in a public phone box more like.”

“They’re not a prostitute!”

“Sorry,” Harland dead-panned back; “‘bedtime escort’ is the politically correct term now, isn’t it?”

“You’d be more likely to know,” Kevin sniped.

Harland walked off towards the kitchen across the hall. “Anyway, I’m going to get a snack. Have you and your _date_ already eaten or shall I play servant-boy while you shag in our lounge?”

“Yes, we’ve eaten, and...” He glanced at Harland’s travel bags sitting in the hall, not out on tour with their owner where he had expected them to be. “You’re staying here tonight?”

“Passing near Toronto on the way East.” Harland’s voice was drifting in from wherever he was going through the cupboards now. “Figured we’d all save money on hotels. But if you want me to go to one...”

“Um...” Kevin dithered, very caught between politeness and the dormant arousal still lingering in his lower torso. “Well...”

“Did Harland really fuck your dog?”

“Yes,” he answered Jim who had come to see.

“No.” Harland came back to see too.

Kevin had to object to that. “You had your-!”

“Hey, don’t I know you?”

Kevin froze up in a flinch.

He watched the smug, incredulously pleased expression blossom on Harland’s face. “You’re fucking one of your new bandmates, Kev?!”

“It’s- Ye-Yeah!” Kevin said with too much conviction, hands on hips now. “Yeah! I am! So what? You got a problem with that, buddy?! You got a problem with me riding the Creeggan rail, blasting off to the moon in Apollo Jim, taking the-” Kevin ground to a complete halt as he realised what he was saying. He just pleadingly whimpered, “Please don’t tell anyone!”

“Don’t worry; I’ll spare them the scarring images you just put in my head in case I get done under the Geneva Convention...” Harland had walked closer, eyeing Jim up, all six foot and a bit of lanky, ginger and currently-undone-shirt bassist. “You’re not one of the singers and the drummer has dreads, so you must be the other one I can’t remember.”

“Jim Creeggan, bassist.” Jim offered his hand.

Harland gave it a look, then at Kevin’s slightly dishevelled state, and passed. “Creeggan... Thought you played keyboards.”

“That was my brother Andy. He left the band.”

“Ah. And that’s why you dragged my cousin in.” Harland looked between the two of them again. “Is this a capacity he had to replace Andy for too?”

“Ew, Harland!” Kevin started actually pushing his cousin away, steering him back into the kitchen. “Go make your food and leave us alone!”

Jim watched them bicker about sex and not making different kinds of messes before Kevin finally came back and dragged Jim into the lounge. “...Did he seriously ask if I used to fuck my brother?”

“Oh, Har will make a joke about anything; don’t mind him,” Kevin sat back down, patting the sofa. “And I’m really sorry he’s back; he didn’t tell me so I thought he’d still be on tour.”

“That’s okay.” Jim sat. There were six awkward inches between them now. “...He’s staying the night?”

“Yeah...”

“I guess I won’t be then.”

“He brings girls home sometimes,” Kevin griped. “I don’t see why I shouldn’t finally get to be the annoying roommate now I have a boyfriend.”

“So you two really are dating then?” Harland walked back in suddenly, an envelope held out to Kevin.

“Jesus Christ, Har!” He actually held a hand to his chest before reaching for the envelope. “What’s this?”

It was pulled back. “Answer my question first, Cuz.”

Kevin looked at Jim, both of them searching for an answer that wasn’t there yet. What were they? Between the two of them it made sense and didn’t need a name. What with the rule in the band, and the way things were there, to just be friends that fucked had been fine. But outside of that crazy, little circle, with the few people they could trust to know...

Jim ended up tilting his head slightly, submitting to whatever Kevin wanted to say.

“Erm...” Kevin turned back to Harland. “Yeah, we’re boyfriends.”

“Aw,” Harland mocked. “And you’ve slept with him?”

Kevin turned pink. “Yeah.”

“Then you can have this.” The envelope came back again and let Kevin take it this time.

It was quite full, or slightly bulging at least. That was caused by a small, wrapped present that fell out along with a card when Kevin turned it upside-down over his lap. The present was soft and squishy, wrapped in girly, pink paper. The card was hand-made and had a rather unflattering baby-photo of Kevin on the cover. Inside just read,

_‘Congratulations on finally losing your virginity, you big baby’_

Kevin stared at the card, then saw if it could inflict papercuts by throwing it back at Harland. “Thanks, Har.”

“I thought you deserved something for accomplishing such a Herculean feat.”

“What?” Kevin asked, having a second go with his card shuriken. “A card and a- Where’d my present go?”

There was the quick sound of tearing paper and Jim said, “It’s a Twinkie.” A single-wrapped Twinkie.

“Why a Twinkie?” Kevin had to ask.

“Because they spurt white stuff when you squeeze them,” Harland grinned, “but mainly because they keep the longest of any food.”

“Hey!”

This time Kevin had no card; he just launched himself at his cousin. By the time he had gotten himself back out of the headlock Harland put him in, and recovered from the noogie, the card had been well and truly trampled on and Kevin’s Twinkie had disappeared into Jim.

With a sigh, Kevin collected up the wrapper and slightly ripped card to keep, “As a monument to what an asshole cousin I have,” and put them aside for his special box later.

The three men eventually found a TV show they could agree to watch together but then soon agreed they were funnier than any of the people on it and simply returned to teasing Kevin again; it was the best entertainment for an evening like this.

“He’s really never slept with anyone before?” Jim asked, lazing on the sofa with Kevin trapped in his arms.

Harland laughed. “He fainted when I showed him his first topless girl.”

“I didn’t faint! I was just hiding my head under my pillow!”

“How old was he?”

“17.”

“Wow,” Jim laughed too.

“Hey! I’d seen girls naked before that!” Kevin struggled and grumped in Jim’s arms but was ultimately defeated.

“Kev, seeing naked baby photos of your sisters doesn’t count,” Harland said.

“I did!” Kevin insisted. “When we were doing my junior year play some girls changed right in front of me backstage to try and freak me out!”

“Did it work?”

“...Shut up, that’s not the point!”

“Was I your first kiss too, Kev?” Jim asked next.

Quite a change came over Kevin then. “No, you weren’t.” He was turning sly again. “But thank you for reminding me of that, Jimothy. Now I know Harland will keep us a secret,” He tried to catch Harland’s suddenly evasive gaze; “Harland’s good at keeping secrets about who I kiss.”

Okay, something was definitely going on here. Although Harland tried to, “la la la,” the story to death, Kevin spoke louder over it. “You see, we have family reunions every 15 years or so. My first one was when I was only 1, but when I was 16-”

“Wait a minute,” Jim interrupted Kevin. “Is this going to involve incest? ‘Cause it’s kind of sounding like it from the set-up.”

Kevin ignored that question. “My older siblings thought it’d be funny to dress my younger brother Sean and I up in drag, since no one knew what we looked like, and pretend we were exchange students from Russia; I don’t really remember why. We weren’t looking forward to it and those were the only accents we could do.”

“This isn’t a funny story, Kev,” Harland tried to cut in.

“Anyways, it worked and we confused a lot of uncles and aunts. Only thing is,” Kevin giggled, “it worked a bit too well on Harland.”

“Have you seen him in drag?” Harland defended, pointing at Kevin. “If I hadn’t seen his dick more times than I ever need to, I’d swear he was a girl.”

“And that’s why we’re such close cousins now!” Kevin finished the tale happily. “Because I’m blackmailing him!”

Jim had to check, “Harland really kissed you?”

“He looked just like a 20-year-old Russian girl, complete with sparse, badly-shaved patches of facial hair and everything,” Harland defended.

“It was more like a badly-aimed attack of his lips on mine but yeah,” Kevin said.

“What is up with your family?” Or maybe it was just these two. Jim was sure he ought to get out of the middle of this.

Somehow he ended up staying the night in Kevin’s bed though, “Kevin! The next time I bring a noisy girl home I don’t want to hear any complaints from you!” much to Harland’s displeasure.

~#~

Kevin awoke peacefully to soft breathing on the side of his neck with an arm and leg slung over him. Here, in his nice soft bed, quiet city noises floating in on the cool morning air with sunlight just creeping around the edges of his curtains, he knew what perfect life felt like. “You were worth waiting for, Jim Creeggan...”

“Oh, so you _can_ use my proper name?”

Kevin tried to look back over his shoulder. “Since when are you awake? Go back to sleep so I can say more things you’re not meant to hear.”

“I would but someone’s playing with my fingers,” Jim murmured, pressing light kisses to the nape of Kevin’s neck.

Looking down at what his hands were doing beneath the covers, Kevin supposed that would wake someone up. “...Wanna have noisy sex and piss Harland off again?”

Jim laughed. “I can’t tell if you two like each other or hate each other.”

“Oh, this is what love looks like in our family, Jimmikins.”

“Remind me not to meet the rest of my new in-laws...”

“You don’t tease Andy like this?” Kevin asked, shifting onto his back to finally see Jim’s face.

Jim watched him with that same intensity as ever, always as if he was trying to figure something out. “Not this bad, but then again we haven’t accidentally kissed.”

“Hm,” Kevin just hummed vaguely in place of whatever he had to say. Jim was still watching him though. And they didn’t seem to be having sex again yet. “...You don’t mind me taking Andy’s place in the band, do you? It’s about time I asked that.”

Jim’s small smile agreed. “It never bothered me someone new was joining. I just worried I wouldn’t be able to do it without him. But I can, and I’m fine with you. More than fine with you.” His smile was a bit of a grin now. “You didn’t try to replace him; you carved out your own place. So you’re fine with me as far as the musical side of things goes, Kev.”

“Oh phew! I thought you might try to kill me or something so Andy would have to come back,” Kevin admitted.

“...Your mind works in the weirdest ways.”

“So unless you’re trying to kill me through sex,” Kevin grinned, pulling that one leg further over his.

Jim smoothly followed into place, sitting up astride Kevin’s hips. His long fingers teasing Kevin’s chest, his hips rutted slowly, hoping to drum up something more interesting to ride. It was soon working as something new and hard began to slide between his thighs.

Kevin really was grinning in his slyest way as his hands guided Jim into place. “I’m sure Har wouldn’t want to be late going back out on tour,” he purred, grunting slightly as he pushed up into Jim’s body, “so if you wouldn’t mind playing cockerel this morning, Jimboree...”

After they’d had a shower, together, come down to breakfast and been called rabbits on Viagra, “Wow, you two even make the same jokes,” Harland finally left them in peace.

Kevin was still rubbing his headlocked neck as the front door closed and they finally had privacy again.

“Does he always physically abuse you?” Jim had to ask.

“He’s just playing,” Kevin seemed upbeat about it. “Living with Harland has made me as tough as good old leather jerky, just like grandpa used to make!”

“You know what happens to jerky?” Jim smirked.

“What?”

Kevin let Jim slide into position behind him, encircling him with long arms and biting down on the side of Kevin’s neck.

“Oh! Ohh...!” Kevin had too many jokes to make to moan though. “Hungry for some Hearn-jerky, are you? Do I get to eat some Jimchi later too?” He gasped a little as a palm started rubbing hard at his jeans. His hand went backwards and threaded into Jim’s hair, holding him closer as he buried his face in the ginger curls. “Jim... Jim...!” Kevin gasped hard. “That’s it! I can also call you Marmalade!”

Jim shoved Kevin away over the nearest hard surface.

Seriously, how the hell did you get Kevin Hearn to shut up?


	14. Chapter 14

Christmas came and passed. Families kept them apart and work kept them busy but both had a present when they finally reunited in some privacy.

Jim’s to Kevin rattled around in the box until Jim told him to stop doing that before it broke. A small, handheld and much better quality recording device than anything he’d seen outside of a studio tumbled out and was just narrowly caught when he opened it. “I remember you saying you didn’t have anything decent to record ideas on except an old cassette thing,” Jim explained almost sheepishly. “Mom’s always telling me to stop giving people practical presents but...”

“So that’s what this is for?” Kevin tapped and played with the little charm hanging off the strap. Presumably the little metal loop was for keys or carrying it but all that hung from it currently was a little metal tag, a stylish J and K linked together back-to-back.

Jim shrugged and shoved his hands in his shorts’ pockets – Even in the middle of winter. “Saw a place that made ‘em. And I figured...”

“Mm?” Kevin made him go on.

“It’s been, what? Nearly four months now or something. We’re...” He sat down with Kevin finally, on the edge of the sofa. “We’re dating properly, right, Kev?”

“Yeah.”

“Like...?” Jim ran his hand down from Kevin’s wrist to lace their fingers together.

Kevin’s hand squeezed back, despite being underneath. “Love you, Jimothy.”

Jim sighed about the name, but he’d take that adorable smile any day. “Oh, and my brother Andy said he’d give you accordion lessons sometime; you wanted to learn, right?”

“Practical again?” Kevin teased. “Sure. I’d love to.”

“He’ll be back in town soon, doing some more recording. Want to drop in on us sometime?”

“How could I resist seeing the magic in action?” That smile was almost a little too mocking if _The Brothers Creeggan_ wasn’t sitting in Kevin’s CD player right now, just as it had been for a lot of the past couple of months. “Do I get a free copy of the new one?”

“Of course.”

“Knew sleeping with you would have some perks if I hung in long enough!”

After being pushed off, maybe lightly stomped with a long foot, Kevin climbed back onto the sofa and was met with a demand to equal this up already.

Kevin’s to Jim came with a card. There were some weird-looking monkey-monster things on the front having a snowball fight or something. Jim didn’t like to ask because, “You drew this?”

“Yeah.”

...Asking why would be mean, right? “So this is what you’re always drawing in that pad of yours?”

“I’ve always drawn. Calms me down. Gives me something to do. W-What do you think?”

Uh-oh. Intent blue eyes were watching him closely for a response. Kevin was looking a little shy and vulnerable about it too. Jim looked at the card, and at Kevin. He answered with long fingers supporting Kevin’s chin and a slow, announced kiss. “I love it. I’m not really into art but it’s cute.”

His review seemed good enough.

With Kevin leaning on the side of his shoulder, blushing slightly and rather happily, Jim looked inside the card and the present.

The card asked him:

_‘To my beloved Jamie-Jims,_

_What are you doing with my virginity these days? I hope it’s safe and well._   
_I hope you love your present too_   
_As much as I love you_   
_That would sure be swell_

_Kevin xxx'_

The present made him ask Kevin, “Is this... a pair of shoelaces?” Because it certainly looked like it; two shoelaces knotted and looped together with some beads on them. It was the kind of thing you made when you were 6.

“Yeah! What do you think?” Or 26 in some cases. “You’ve always got that string necklace on that looks really good on you so I thought I’d make a bracelet to match.” Oh, so that’s why two of the ends were left undone. “They’re special shoelaces too; they’re the ones I wore all across Europe with the Look People so they’re world-wise!”

“And the beads?”

“My mum let me have them from her sewing kit.” Kevin beamed.

Well, it fitted very nicely at least. And it did match his necklace in style.

Kevin seemed to approve. “I really like this kind of folk art...” he said, stroking Jim’s necklace. It wasn’t the first time.

“It is pretty cool, yeah.” Was it still folk art if it was made by your Irish-immigrant-descended, suburban boyfriend? Jim wasn’t sure he cared. “Thanks for this. You like art stuff then?”  He waved the card gently.

“Yeah!”

“I guess I could take you to art gallery or something,” Jim mused, examining the bracelet again. The beads were the colour of his skin, hair and eyes now he looked more closely. He spun them round a few more times before stretching that arm round Kevin’s shoulders. “I certainly like having an arty boyfriend.”

Kevin snuggled up closer and started getting that sly look, pawing at Jim’s pants again. “Can we go have sex?”

Jim let the finger trail all the way down his thigh, pause at his knee, then start coming back up his shorts underneath when it didn’t get a reply. “Beats going to a gallery.” He grabbed it along with the rest of its hand.

“Can’t we do both?” Stumbling up stairs.

“I think that might get us kicked out, Kev.” Shedding useless clothes.

“Not at the same time!” And falling into bed again.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Short chapter but necessary for the next one to stand-alone.


	15. Chapter 15

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> As I mentioned last chapter, I wanted this one to be able to stand-alone so it's skippable if people want. It's just some BDSM smut that was fun to write mainly due to Kevin's attitude towards the whole thing. It has a little emotional/story content but nothing crucial. I'm almost kind of embarrassed by this chapter, but I'm almost kind of embarrassed about this whole fic sometimes so what the heck!

Not that he would have been sleeping anyway; he was too busy luxuriating in Jim’s bed-

“Stop rolling around in my bed; you’re getting my pillows all sweaty!”

“Shut up. I’m luxuriating.”

-but Kevin really couldn’t focus on anything else except Jim’s soft, slow nibbling on his ear. It wasn’t just the nibbling. It was the fact it had to have been going on for at least two full minutes now.

“Do you want the other ear or something?” he felt he should at least offer.

Jim didn’t reply, mouth too busy.

“Fine, but if I get swimmer’s ear from your saliva you’re paying for it.” Kevin pushed his head back down firmer into the pillow, trying to ignore the teeth that came with it. “Seriously, Jim; vampire at all?”

“No. If I was a vampire-”

“Ah...!”

“-I’d be biting down here.” There was little as enjoyable as how feminine Kevin’s gasps were. “I’m just... Do you only wanna have vanilla sex, Kev?”

“...I like vanilla ice cream,” Kevin replied hopefully.

Jim laughed. “Sorry. I forgot how much of a choirboy you are.”

“Hey...”

“When I bite you, or when I’ve slapped your ass during sex, you like that?”

“Yeah.”

“Having me holding you down beneath you?”

“Wait, are you talking about that...?” It had got Kevin trying to edge away across the too-small bed. “That...” That thing that made him blush. “...leather... handcuffy...”

“BDSM, Kev,” Jim helped him find it. “And kinda. We- Hold on!” He had an escapee on his hands.

“I like you, Jim, but I’m not willing to-!”

“We’re already doing it, man!” Kevin stopped trying to drag himself away. He was half out the bed and both of them looked farcical. “The biting, the ass-slapping.”

“That’s...?”

“Yeah.”

Kevin didn’t want to believe it. He wanted Jim to let go of his wrist already. He was getting kind of cold out of the bed.

“Come on,” Jim pulled him back. “I’ll explain.”

“...All right.” The covers lifted to let him back in. “When do I get my vanilla ice cream?”

Jim laughed. “We’re already doing the vanilla stuff. Think of this as the sprinkles on the top. You like sprinkles, don’t you, Kev?”

“I like sprinkles,” Kevin agreed childishly. “And chocolate sauce. And cherries. Can I have some of those?”

“Maybe. If you’re good.” And Jim was biting on his ear again, the other one this time at least. “It’s just like playing games. You like playing games too, don’t you?”

“Like tag? Or like Ed’s games on the bus?”

“Like the way you act all the time,” Jim said. He watched sly blue eyes move to their corners to watch him. “Maybe I can finally crack that facade of yours with this.”

Kevin held his gaze with serious confidence. “I’d like to see you try, Jiminy.”

~#~

“Did you pick a safeword like I told you to?” Jim checked.

Kevin nodded. “Marmalade.” He smirked.

Jim didn’t. “It’s meant to be something you _wouldn’t_ say normally.”

Kevin thought again. “...Gingersnap?”

The thin ginger put his hands on his hips. “How about cream,” He reached forward to flick Kevin’s nose, “puff,” then his hair.

“Hey! Hands off the puff, mister!” Kevin fussed to fix it instantly.

Surveying Kevin sitting naked on the bed, arms and legs folded, uneasily keeping his back straight like a little kid not sure if adults are watching him, “One final time; you sure you want this, Kev?”

“I’m sure.”

No joke. No giggle or nervousness. Kevin looked more like he was ready to undertake an exam, not enjoy a special intimacy with his boyfriend.

“Well...” Jim gave him a final pause to speak up, “all right then.” He smoothed down his black T-shirt, tightly sculpted to his thin chest, and got into the mental zone, trying to ignore the fact his dark jeans would soon be just as tight as well.

“Jeez, you look like you’ve come to break my kneecaps in that get-up,” Kevin sarked.

One of Jim’s fingers flicked up and stayed up.

“You gonna pick my nose with that, Jimmy-boy?” More slightly lop-sided grinning.

A second finger joined it.

“Poke my eyes out?”

“Did I say you could talk?”

Eyebrows raised above a cheeky smile. Jim’s voice wasn’t harsh, just calm but powerful. “You didn’t say I couldn’t talk.”

A third finger. “On your hands and knees. Face the wall.”

“I’m already facing a wall.”

Jim pointed to the one he wanted, the one past the end of the bed.

Looking like he suspected a surprise party, Kevin played along. Hands and knees, pointed to Jim’s left. He watched Jim stride over, taking his time confidently as the hand that hadn’t been counting rested on his shoulders, tracing down from the back of his neck along his spine in a way that made Kevin wiggle his toes.

Until the first strike hit his ass.

“Hey! Whoa, you’re spanking me?!”

“Back in position.” Jim waited, his fingers still at three until Kevin complied. “What are you being punished for?” he asked calmly, beginning the countdown down Kevin’s spine again.

“That tickles!”

The countdown hit zero. The hand hit his ass.

“Ow.” Kevin frowned indignantly at this.

Jim showed him three fingers and asked again, “What are you being punished for?”

Kevin sighed. “For talking when you hadn’t said I could...” he tiredly replied.

The finger kept going to his coccyx. The hand hit his ass again.

“Hey!”

Jim’s fingers decreased to two. He asked again.

For being cheeky about the no-talking thing.

“Oh man...” Still one more finger.

“What are you being punished for?” Jim asked yet again.

“I don’t know. Because you don’t have a sense of humour in that get-up?”

Not the right answer. Another one on the count and spanked again.

Kevin grunted a bit; Jim was hitting hard too.

It wasn’t until five slaps later Kevin had managed to satisfy Jim the fact he was being punished both for sassing him about the outfit and making jokes about his fingers.

He was finally allowed out of position, although sitting back on his heels caused an involuntary wince now. Kevin opened his mouth. The comment asking Jim if he’d worked out all his daddy issues yet wouldn’t come out though.

Jim watched this, smirking as Kevin closed his mouth with a scowl and turned away.

Jim hadn’t got him trained already. That was absurd.

“Ready to behave now?” Jim asked.

“...Maybe. If I get a reward for it.”

“Sure.”

What? What was Jim walking over to the bag on the dresser for? It had been there for a week or so, sitting inconspicuously, apparently holding a reward for him?

Kevin felt a tension creep into his limbs – Although that might have been the afterspasms of his spanking – He felt like a barely tamed animal ready to run at any moment.

That probably explained what Jim turned around with then.

“If you put that on me I’ll bite you, Creeggan.”

One finger up again.

“Oh, come on!”

“Sounds like I need to get a muzzle for next time as well,” Jim mused, or perhaps warned, spinning the dog collar on one finger.

Kevin bared his teeth in a nice display as it approached, open and ready for his neck. There was a pause, an eyeing up beyond the game in case Jim was going too far, but Kevin let himself be collared with moderate resistance.

Clamping his fangs on the side of Jim’s hand with a, “Grr!” earned him a second finger. He satisfied them for threatening, then carrying through with biting Jim, before remaining sat and scowling on the end of Jim’s bed. “What next?” Kevin asked, tugging at the collar only to check for breathing. “Did you buy me a cute, little hat to wear too?”

“Not quite.” Jim returned from the bag again with a leash and self-satisfied grin.

“Oh goodie,” Kevin faux-cheered; “is it time for walkies, Master James?”

The leash stopped, slack in Jim’s hands. He left it by his side for now, stood before Kevin and his petulant scowl. “...Say that again.”

Kevin’s features softened with curiosity. He almost could have smirked. “Is that an order?”

Two fingers grabbed the front of Kevin’s collar in an instant. “Yes, that’s an order!”

Still dealing with the sudden drag forward, and looking up at Jim from the height of his chest, “M-Master James,” Kevin forced out.

“Good boy.”

Jim let him go. He settled a hand on the top of Kevin’s head to pet him instead. Kevin kept his gaze down, flustered by the blush rebelling on his cheeks.

He let Jim attach the leash to the collar’s loop without a word or resistance. They really were an actual dog collar and leash too; easy enough to buy without suspicion.

Kevin had his blush calmed by the time he looked up again, awaiting his next order with the return of a petulant frown.

Jim wanted him to sit, shake paws, speak – “Yes, Master James” – and roll over to have his tummy rubbed.

Then, “Beg.”

Kevin looked up curiously, past his own hands curled up over his chest and the hand of Jim’s that had retracted from his stomach. Now Jim had a sort of smile on his face, one of deep excitement and amusement. He wanted to see what Kevin would do next.

The tummy rub had drifted low at points. All the hairs had been stirred up down there, the arousal travelling straight to the nearest centre at his groin.

Maybe he was a little horny. That was what Kevin blamed his rolling over, crawling off the bed and kneeling at Jim’s feet on. That had to be why he was pawing at Jim’s crotch and pressing the side of his face to it to rub, not because, _“Shit...”_ he was yearning for the next pet on his head, that all-important, “Good boy.” The shaking of his head turned into a stronger rub against Jim’s lap as he keened.

It didn’t take long.

“Good boy.” A ruffle of his hair.

Kevin whimpered at the way it made his dick twitch.

His ears pricked at the pop of a button. A shiver travelled up as a zipper went down.

Kevin stared at the dick hanging in front of him, firming but not erect. “Suck it ‘til it’s hard.” He took it into his mouth without even thinking.

He knew what Jim was ordering him up to the top of the bed for once he was hard. He didn’t even protest as his hands were bound above him to the headboard with his leash, simply complying and checking they were tight, but not too tight, as instructed.

It was easily blissful to zone out as Jim fucked him like this; the pets on his head, the, “Good boy”s in his ear as he kept his legs spread and back arched for Jim. Kevin wasn’t even sure if he was getting closer to coming or simply further out of his body into bliss. Too good...

He didn’t even notice when the movement stopped. Only that the words going into his ear were a different pattern now, not the craved phrase he’d gotten so used to.

“Kevin, who are they?” Jim asked.

“Who?” He’d missed the first part.

“The Butterscotch Ripple Gang,” Jim repeated.

Kevin stared at him. Some part of him almost wanted to laugh. He stayed silent though, turning his gaze to the ceiling to think about possible replies, possible eventualities.

Everything he’d gathered was destroyed by another thrust from Jim after a few moments. That was the game he was playing: right to the edge torture until Kevin gave in.

Now his mind only produced the answer, “Never.”

And no matter how many times, asked, brought to the edge, drawn out but no answer, Kevin wasn’t giving; he was fine like this.

A small part craved the bliss. It wondered if the answer would earn the bliss back.

Large, stupid pride got in the way though. Kevin never sung.

Jim eventually grew tired enough to simply finish himself inside Kevin, pulling out of the futility to sit back and loosen up Kevin’s hands.

Kevin sat up, shaking the slight numbness from his arms and waiting. Jim was well aware of his still-hard dick; he kept staring at it, waiting too.

Eventually his master just gave a, “You can get yourself off if you want.”

Kevin supposed he’d do that then, stroking himself in front of Jim’s gaze until he released a mess all over Jim’s sheets. Punishment was spared though; Jim had taken to slouching back in the bed in rest and was happy enough to just let his pet rest beside him in the same way.

It was very, strangely awkward for after sex.

Kevin was staring at the ceiling, toying with the leash in his hands. It was still attached to his neck.

Jim was definitely thinking about something; Kevin had seen no movement in the corner of his eye during the last two minutes.

“Kevin,” Jim eventually spoke, “you... You wanna do this again sometime?”

Kevin looked down at the leash handle he was playing with now. “...Mm.”

“You okay?”

If he took the collar off, Jim probably wouldn’t pet him anymore. Would Jim pet him some more if he left it on? “Yeah.”

Jim shifted beside him. He ended up lying on his back too, clothed shoulder pressed to Kevin’s bare one. “...You adapted to that really well.”

Yeah...

“Why was that?”

...Yeah, why was that?


	16. Chapter 16

The bed stopped squeaking. After a moment, Kevin took up the job instead. “Shut up, Kev,” Jim tried to hush the noise with a vaguely flopped hand. “I thought I heard-”

“Jim!”

Someone had been downstairs yelling. Now they were coming up the stairs. “Aw, shit...” Jim was glancing about – Kevin was still whining about having a cock in his ass that was doing nothing now except going limp – but clothes weren’t an option to grab before-

“It’s a good thing I still have keys if you’re going to be busy-”

“I said 2, man! What the hell are you doing here at-?!”

“You said 10!”

“2!”

“10!”

“Are you sure you didn’t say ten to 2, Jim?” Kevin offered, casting uncertain gazes between the two. He was trying to work out where he needed to put his thigh between the grumpy, serious-looking newcomer and things only Jim was meant to see.

“Who the hell invites someone round for ten to an hour, Kev?” Jim sighed, rubbing his forehead tiredly.

“I told you to get that phone fixed,” the other man said.

“Yeah, I know, I know...”

Kevin watched Jim get up, completely unashamed in front of the newcomer as he neatened his hair and fished around for clothes. He didn’t want to watch the newcomer themselves; they seemed to be staring searchingly, maybe critically, at him occupying Jim’s bed.

They finally reached a verdict. “You’re fucking my replacement? I’m sure Freud would have something to say about that.”

‘Replacement’?

“It’s got nothing to do with that,” Jim said tiredly. “Kevin’s a cool guy and it turns on we get on really well, all right?” That didn’t seem to placate the newcomer. Not even when Jim went over and threw an arm around his shoulder whilst still completely naked. “And I’m not the one who always used to crawl into my bed when you had nightmares or got too cold, _Andy_.”

An-?! “W-Wait! You’re-?!” Kevin strongly pulled the covers up and over his lap, blushing intensely.

“Why are you covering your junk now?” Andy asked wearily. “I already saw it. And I’m not interested in yet another hand-me-down of Jim’s.”

“H-Hey...”

“You want accordion lessons or not?” Kevin ducked his head a little. “Then get some clothes on and come down.” Andy left the room, not giving another glance to either naked man left behind.

“Um...”

“Don’t worry about Andy,” Jim sorted his clothes from Kevin’s to toss over; “he’s probably just tired of staring at my dick after all the times we went skinny-dipping together as kids.”

Kevin tried pulling his shirt back on only to realise it was the wrong way round. “He knows you’re bi?”

“My whole family does, yeah. That book I leant you,” Kevin blushed to even be reminded he had a copy of _The Joy of Gay Sex_ locked inside his ‘special box’, “my Mom bought me that after I came out, since she wanted me to know what I was doing safely.”

“Your family is weird...”

“Don’t yours know? Except Harland?”

Kevin shook his head, hopping around back into his jeans. “Only one of my sisters, and I managed to convince her it was just a phase.”

Jim looked a little uncertain what to say. “...Well, my family will always be cool with you. They’ll keep it a secret too.”

“Thanks. Think I might have already ruined it with one...”

“Andy’ll like you just fine once you’ve got some clothes on,” Jim said, coming over to smooth down Kevin’s crumpled shirtfront. “I bet you he’s more annoyed I didn’t listen to him and get the phone fixed than anything about you.”

Kevin stayed quiet for now. He also edged into the main room behind Jim, keeping his eyes on the floor rather than Andy’s folded-arms and bespectacled glare.

“All yours.” Jim slapped Kevin on the back and pushed him forward. “Don’t wear him out too much though; I still need him for later.” He dropped into the other chair, chewing on a grin, to watch.

Andy rolled his eyes but he’d gone from glare to smirk now. “You. New Guy.” He beckoned with one finger.

Not him as well... “Kevin,” Kevin corrected.

“Jim’s new fuck-toy.”

“Hey!”

Once Andy had gotten a laugh out of his brother he lightened up. “Chill, man. I shared a bedroom with him for 17 years; I know who’s probably doing the fucking.” Kevin raised an eyebrow at Jim. He only got a smug smirk. “You ever tried an accordion before, Kevin?”

“Uh, no.”

“Then come here; I’ll show you how to hold it first.” And with the production of a very floppy, complicated object from its box, the lesson began.

45 minutes later and into valve fingering, Jim finally stepped out when the tedium had gotten slightly too high.

Andy watched him go – Kevin was too busy fiddling with a combination that required his little finger to do Olympic-level stretching – before speaking; “Your arms tired yet, Kevin?”

“They were tired 45 minutes ago when I first picked up this blasted thing...”

“Take a break then. You’re doing great so far.”

“I am?”

“Yeah, you’ve picked it up really quick.” Andy was actually smiling at him even without Jim around now. Progress!

Kevin took the accordion off, with a little help, and massaged his poor shoulders himself, “Unless you want to do this for me?” he asked hopefully.

“Don’t swing that way.” Andy shook his head. “And I don’t fancy another headlock from Jim for ‘touching his stuff’ again.”

“Huh! And he said you didn’t fight like that.” Kevin tutted. “Liar, liar, hair-the colour-of-fire...”

“I wouldn’t really call it fighting. More like Jim tries to use his height on me, I try and sock him one, then he runs away faster than I can catch him- Half the time still to Mom.”

Kevin grinned. Accordion lessons aside, today was definitely a success. “So... what was old Jimmy-Bob like growing up then? Any embarrassing stories? Juicy secrets?”

Andy didn’t fall for a second. “Nice try. But Jim’ll know where you heard them.” Kevin tried ‘the eyes’. “Yeah, maybe if I was Jim.”

“Come on. You’ve been teasing about Jim’s sex life all afternoon.”

“Only to get in before _he_ starts talking about it...” Andy removed his glasses to rub at his eyes. He caught Kevin staring curiously at him, although it took a bit of a squint. “What?”

“You don’t look much like Jim,” Kevin decided. Maybe the eyes? The curl of their hair?

“I look just like our mother,” Andy replaced his glasses; “Jim looks like the mailman, as he always says.”

“Hm.”

Andy was getting another one of those stares. “...What? I’m not interested in you.”

“What? No! I mean, you’re cute but not- No, I was just thinking about my little brother is all,” Kevin said.

“You’re not the youngest?” Andy was back to his old, dry smirk.

“Just ‘cause I held onto my adorable good looks- Hey! Why are you laughing?!”

Eventually Andy stopped. “Nothing. I can see why Jim likes you so much now, that’s all.”

Kevin sat back with a bit of a grump. He could have brought up the gay-thing again but rather than retread that, “You’re jealous that Jim liked your replacement so much?”

Surprised, impressed, maybe a little bit of ‘You’re smarter than you look’ passed across Andy’s face. “Yeah, I guess I was. I thought he might at least put up some token resistance to having someone else in my place, you know? That he’d call after a week pleading for me to come back or something. Not just...” He picked at the hem of his shorts – Did Creeggans have super winter-resistant, invisible fur on their knees or something? “Not just move on like he never needed me...”

“Hey, Jim was really worried he wouldn’t be able to do it without you. He told me that,” Kevin reassured him.

“Really?”

“Yeah! So,” Kevin clapped him on the back with cartoonish comfort and grinned.

Andy grinned too. “Thanks!” Ah, there was the resemblance: that wide, slightly giddy grin that Kevin would have recognised anywhere now.

“No problem! Just leave it all to guardian angel Kevin!”

“‘Angel’? After what I walked in on you and Jim doing earlier?”

“Don’t worry; I took my halo off for safe-keeping!”

The teasing and jokes continued until Jim rejoined, proving he did physically tease Andy by attempting to tickle him and steal his glasses. Andy put a quick stop to it with a thump to the side of Jim’s head – Maybe Kevin could learn a thing or two for dealing with Harland as well as accordion – and the Creeggan brothers fell back into the single sofa seat together like personal space wasn’t even a thing between them. Neither was letting non-Creeggans into their conversations, apparently, but Kevin didn’t mind.

They hadn’t been talking much for the year with the awkwardness of Andy leaving the band and Jim having little else to talk about except everything Andy was missing out on in there. You never would have thought it now though.

And that was enough for Kevin.

~#~

Kevin had gotten to hang out a bit more with Andy while he was in town recording for _Brothers Creeggan II_. In the end, he’d caved on letting Kevin hear a few secrets about Jim – “But you didn’t hear them from me,” – and even let Kevin keep his accordion at the end of their time together. Kevin promised him he’d give it back one day.

Then Andy was on the train back to Montreal, they were recording the music video for ‘The Old Apartment’ and winter was coming to an end.

The Spring Tour was about to begin.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> That's it for now, Barenaked fans! If you've read this far, wow, you sure like geeky, Canadian musicians getting it on!
> 
> One day I wouldn't mind adding more to this fic but I've been working on other fics during the time I have for BNL-writing - I also write their fan newsletter for Get Barenaked! so that eats up time too - and I'm not too sure how to break up the story arc I had planned into scenes to continue at the moment.
> 
> But, yes, at some point the saga of gay-BNL may continue but not for now. I hope you enjoyed what's here so far!


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